The countdown has begun. David is out of the gulf, which puts my mind at ease, and they have started their trek back home. But this has always been the hard part for me, the last leg.
I am tired.
I am tired of being apart.
I am tired of 15 minute phone calls every...barely never.
I am tired of the Navy and what it demands of us.
I am tired of being alone.
I am tired of school and homework.
I am tired of feeling not good enough.
I am tired of being misunderstood.
I am tired and ready for a break.
I am sad that I have forgotten David's smell.
I am sad that I have forgotten what his hugs feel like.
I am sad that I have never gotten to really be with him.
I am sad that I will still have more goodbyes to say to him.
I am anxious for the homecoming.
I am anxious for the first hug/kiss.
I am anxious for our return to the civilian world that cannot come soon enough.
I am afraid of the transition time when David returns.
There is a wall, the last hump before the end. And I am tired and anxious and afraid. It would be nice for a little vacation to get me through it.... well not yet. It is soon. But not soon enough. I need a nap.
ps- I have a HUMMINGBIRD!!!
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