in progress

Last year I completed an end of year exercise that I found fulfilling. I tend to be um.... melodramatic. However, this exercise helps me take a clear look at the past. It involves 6 steps.

Step 1- List accomplishments big and small

+Completed a fiction workshop

+Have 1 draft of a short story

+Lost weight

+Won a promotion to a better job than the one I lost out on in 2009

+Walk/jogged 2 5ks

+Found a consistent retailer for Post Trail Mix Crunch (otherwise known as God's Cereal)

+5 dollar turquoise headboard

+Uh I dunno, a little thing like our HONEYMOON!

+Michmansion touch ups

+Had Chris, Jeni and Logan down for the first time

+China dresser (5 year anniversary present) AND got the china and table linnens in it!

+Started and completed 2 courses- 2 closer

+Organised my art closet

+Painted Michmanion's front porch

+Found healing for my headaches and eye

Step 2- List what gave you pleasure

+Kitties- Abbey and Rigby loving their new house

+Twin time- turning 2, playing at Gigi's, hugging MiMi, hearing my name from their little mouths

+Beginning to write again

+New camera (Nugget)- allowing myself to feel creative

+My new job- nerdy and loving it

+Waco Zoo with Racsos

+Camping at Double Lake

+Beatles Rock Band

+Sunroom

+Cruise- watching David eat, power snorkeling, hot tea and a show, peaceful in Gran Turk

+New down pillows

+Writing Brianne

+David getting his FINAL discharge letter!

Step 3- List disappointments, unfulfilled expectations, thwarted intentions, sources of displeasure

+MeeMaw's health

+David's mom's health

+My vision

+Shots- bruises, paint, swelling, discomfort

+Headaches

+Struggles with university bureaucracy

+Gaining all the weight back

+Not cooking... ever

+Not calling Leah every week

+Not calling Jeni every week

+Not calling Christi every week

+Not being a very good friend

+Not seeing Edie, Logan, and Rex

Step 4- Who do I need to forgive

(keeping that private)

Step 5- Who do I need to thank

+Mel- for lifting me up everyday and walking very very slow with me

+Mom- always my best friend and first email in my inbox every morning

+David- taking orders, putting up with all my stuff, watching me cry and struggle and never holding it against me

+Daddy- always looking out for me

+Drs- for healing

+242- friendship and understanding

+Abbey and Rigby- taking care of me while I was so ill

Step 6- Last thoughts about 2010

I like the idea of "in progress", the idea that I am not yet finished. 2010 has been pretty awful and I don't anticipate 2011 to be the best year of my life with the present health of both my precious MeeMaw and MIL Mary. I've been tested physically with some difficult trials, but made my way out. I've been tested emotionally as taking courses has open some wounds I would have preferred to stay hidden.

But through out this difficult year, I returned to church. Although, my relationship with God is not perfectly resolved, but I think God just asked me to show up and allow Him to work in His time and His way. And so I did and so I wait.

Because I am

still in progress.

here is where we all blog about our Christmases

This Christmas was fully crazy and stress-filled and I could have used a week of prep time and two more days just to soak it up and enjoy. But at least it finally cooled off. Christmas Eve Eve we had the windows open. That's just silly.

Christmas Eve we did a thing at my parents.

Those boys. What a hoot.

And after the thing went to watch David's parents sing in their Christmas Eve service. I'm not saying church is a bad thing, I like church, but I don't like church in the middle of the night. Its it much too late, and I get grumpy when I am sleepy. It was also raining, and I get grumpy when the hem of my pants are wet. I was a tad grumpy throughout the whole thing.

After church, by this time it is early Christmas morning and Santa didn't come because we were still awake, we went home to ready the house for Christmas breakfast with David's parents. Thank goodness we stayed up to get everything ready because we over slept Christmas morning.

And when you get the call at 8am asking which is your house and your hair is sticking straight up, you still have your mouth guard in, sleepy crusties in your eyes and realise you have to make breakfast in 13 seconds... it feels a little like HOLY crap! So it went something like this:

Me: David! Brush your teeth! Ok- while I get the peaches and wassail going you mix up the waffel batter.

DP: Rodger

Me: David! take this trash out while I light the candles and try to fix the waffle batter.

DP: Rodger

It was a mad dash. I'm glad it wasn't a total disaster. Somehow we made "spiced" peaches, gingerbread waffles, eggs, sausage, rolls from 3 Brothers, wassail and coffee. And after breakfast I had written a little min-advent devo and after that his parents drove to DFW while we collapsed.

Christmas just didn't feel quite right this year. I'm not sure what it was. Nothing feels the same anymore, like everyone was aware that from now one everything is going to be different.

Sorry to keep you waiting... a study of the feline life. mmmmmm jealous!!

dig dig dig till i drop

where i want to be-
floating down the comal

sleeping on a sunny bed with a pile of kitties

in the car on an implusive adventure

where i am-

in my cube

doing work

smashed up against my heater

crunching year end numbers

just dreaming

Humid Christmas

by David & AM

I'm dreaming of a humid Christmas

just like the ones I've always known.

Thanks to La Nina

we're sweating in sweaters

and everyone smells like B.O.

I'm dreaming of a humid Christmas

just like the ones I've always known

Instead of scarves and mittens

shorts and flip flops

adorn every Houstonian.

I'm dreaming of a humid Christmas

I guess we skipped winter this year.

So turn on your fans and open the windows

and may all your Christmases be warm.

So turn on your fans and open the windows

and may all your Christmases be warm.

a million things

December seems to be a busy time of year. that is annoying right? don't we all wish we could just enjoy the season? not quite so.

Finished

Somehow all of my finals and a huge work project were all occurring in the same week. I survived. That was two weeks ago. But it feels like I haven't slept since then.

Last week I finished 6 months of treatment for a medical issue I had way way back before the cruise. Finishing that was an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders. (Enormous is far too small of a weight.)

I also am completing physical therapy for another medical issue. Apparently my headaches were caused by a neck injury a year ago. I'm just saying this for all you people out there who are suffering from headaches- no matter what they say it isn't all in your head. After 1 treatment my headache was gone, and after 3 treatments I am shocked how I feel. I didn't even realise how much daily pain I was living with. Phenomenal difference.

Working

Christmas should come in November, before year end work. I am busy at work and happy to have a job I enjoy. But still wish there weren't as many late nights right before Christmas. There is something about being in the office when it is dark out that just makes you feel lonely, like the only working person in downtown. Hello??? (echo)

Nienty One

Yesterday was MeeMaw's 91st birthday.

We sang to her in church and I cried. I cried because I love her. I cried because I will miss her. I cried because I was so glad we had a big party for her last year (90). I cried because I only wish for a 92nd birthday and a 95th and a 100th. And I cried because how wonderful for her to have happy days left to celebrate. All that in one a minute long song.

We went back to her house for cake.

She is so precious to me and to all of us.

Flowers from her front yard. They bloomed for her.

The next couple of days I am determined to get in the Christmas spirit. Busy or not!

avoiding

meet my husband

mr congeniality

he is tall

he is goofy

he is abnormally likable.

if you are my friend chances are

you will end up liking david more than me even though he drones on about the Navy (just tell him you don't care, that usually shuts him up)

he is ticklish

all over but especially his feet. getting his feet is like finding the gold at the end of the rainbow.

if you are my beloved kitty, abbey,

you will betray me and like david more. if i squeezed you like he does you would pee on me but you make a giggly noise when he does it.

he watches wizards of waverly place with me

he may not have wanted everyone to know that, but maybe he will think twice about leaving me alone to complete my grammar final

he is playing poker right now

with veterans

he was going to bring a cigar but i reminded him he hates cigars

and those are things you wouldn't normally find out about david unless i was avoiding homework.

you are welcome. :)

belated thanks

I was in bed for November, quite literally (so was Rigby). Finally after a year of struggling it all caught up with me and my body just quit on me. I had a lot of time to think. I wish I could say I was counting my blessings cause I wasn’t. I was thinking about where I fit in and maybe more accurately that I don’t fit in anymore.

As my friends have started to get married and have kids, I find myself the odd one out. These are the best years of their lives, there is nothing more rewarding than being a parent, they never knew love till they looked in the eyes of their children. Clichés. But is it true? Do I not know what love is? If I end up without kids, by choice or by nature, am I unfulfilled?

Well I am happy. I like my little life, in my little house, with my cats, and my husband. I like things the way they are. I truly have everything I ever wanted:
a house with no moves in the foreseeable future
a job where I don’t sweat or push a cart and get as many potty breaks as I want
happy, healthy kitties with little wet noses
David at home every night.

I’ve had a crummy six months but I’m still happy. When David and I talk about the future we are excited.

If that isn’t a blessing I don’t know what is.

still in the car

Not sure how to sum up the last month.

There is a scene in Jurassic Park-
(um... is it weird that I compare my life to a dinosaur movie? is it weird it is my favorite movie to watch when I am sick?)

There is a scene in JP when you first meet T-Rex, he pushes the Jeep (with Tim inside) over an embankment and it lands in a tree. Grant comes to get Tim and they have to race the Jeep down the tree. The scene ends at the monstrous roots of the tree.

Tim: Well... we're back... in the car again.
Grant: Well, as least you're out of the tree.

That has been the last month- still in the car but out of the tree.

In other news.... unrelated to dinosaurs

:: I got a snail and a shrimp. (that's weird too isn't it?)
Meet Pickles and Mike Schnail. Pickles has even molted once!

:: Remember those plants?
David dug me some holes. There they be in all their glory... er soon to be glory.

:: Got some poinsettias for the front porch. They look good against the white. I don't hate the porch anymore. It's growing on me.

:: I broke some one's head off. :/

And when it all seems too much, and the days too long, and when I think I couldn't possible take another step or breath...

her sweet face makes it easier.