Morning

Mornings stress me out.

I have the "i dont wanna go" fight with myself; then start my stressful list making in the shower; then comes the guilt from what I didn't do last night, what I ate last night, how messy the house is; full loop back to the "i dont wanna go" except this time its starting to sound like a great idea to stay home.

The following are half thoughts too small to write an entire post, but blog worthy nevertheless.

:: Last night I went to check on Wheels before bed and when I peaked out the window there was a dingo on the porch eating her food!!! (small possibility it was a dog) Insert chasing dog away story here. I kept watching the front yard for dingo's return when I saw him come loafing down the street, WAIT that's a giant possum! Ewwwwy. *ps Wheels was fine.

:: My rich, pulled together alter ego is so great. She has a clean and decorated house, wears cute clothes, doesn't sweat, and wraps her Christmas gifts with Container Store wrapping paper.
Seriously the most beautiful wrapping paper on the planet. And I want all of it.

:: This year I have painted my nails more than any other time in my life. Something about a 99cent bottle of nail polish makes me feel good. And when I can't afford new clothes or gifts for friends - nail polish works every time.

:: Rigby normally hates the blow dryer but this morning he was so cozy on "his" heated blanket, he just opened one eye and watched me, didn't even lift his head.

So now that I have avoided getting dressed so long that it is past leaving time.... but i dont wanna....

thanksgiving on mars

Mommy cooked and cooked and cooked. And I ate and ate and ate. The whole break I took an unhealthy amount of naps after eating unhealthy amounts of ham, it was GLORIOUS.

David and I went out Black Friday to look for lights but didn't find anything. I'm a little worried because I've had very bad xmas crafting luck and it is still November. I'm not going to lie, I already have a giant knot in my stomach because of Christmas planning, I wish it was still easy. However, Dp did get my outside lights up over the weekend (Wheels helped - she is such a sweetie). I don't know what it is this year but nothing looks right. Meh. I need an explosion of lights this year.

If you are a 5 year old boy you might ask Santa for a David for Christmas.

Those kids love, I mean loooooooove David. They want to play with him non-stop when we visit. It is kinda a fair fight, 2 of them against 1 giant.

I've been wondering if they are old enough now to file these holidays into long term memory. Will they remember how they liked to snuggle after nap?  Or that I would watch movies with them and watch them play Angry Birds (shockingly well)?

Games Hot with the childrens:

:: Wrestling is still hot (this is when I can play Rescue From Monster)

:: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle the board game (don't throw anything out, this go fish knock off is from circa 1989)

:: Space Invaders - does your Swing Set Space Ship frequently crash on Mars? The Moon? Or Planet Shundelcloon? Then you too can play space invaders!

Next Thanksgiving they will be Kindergartners! And will have a baby sister!  And maybe Grandaddy will have been called home.

Life keeps changing. 

I can't wait for next year to see the boys grow and play with Sweet Monkey, yet at the same time want everything to stay the same. Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time for everything, but really it should say that everything happens at once. Somehow we are meant to be joyful in the midst of bills, mourning, stress, and frustrations. What a gift! To be able to put our sadness away for moments and enjoy life.

3:13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.

sugar and spice

Having a sister maybe the best ever.

It was like having a best friend from birth. Someone to play with, sing and dance with, race, fight, share a bed, and teach me SO much. Being the little sister takes the cake.

When the boys were born I fell in love. It was like they were mine in a special way. I saw my sister in these two crazy boys. Sometimes even seeing myself in them. Brody and Dylan have always been pure joy, just giggles and smiles. Being an auntie is almost better than being a little sister.

Watching Leah & Michael yearn for another child was hard. I wanted a baby for her so badly. When she told me they were expecting - it was pure joy again! Thrilled doesn't describe the joy, I was so so so so happy and thankful. And imagine my squeals when we found out I have a NIECE !!!

I'm so excited to have a niece but also for the boys to have a sister, and Michael to have a daughter, and my sweet sister to have everything her heart wished for. Nothing makes me quite as thankful this Thanksgiving than little Sweet Monkey.

And I've already started a list of all the things her Auntie will do with her:

• Watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers with her and dance during the barn raising and June Bride.
• Teach her how to color and that Crayola is the best crayons. (I'm sure Leah will show her how to keep all them in their correct spot in the box.)
• Pretend church, boat, train, beauty parlor and whatever else. (But probably not school.)
• Clap the loudest when she learns a new cheer and does a perfect cartwheel.
• Give her lots of candy.
• Paint her nails with pretty pink polish.
• Rock her baby doll when she tells me to.
• Play checkers and Go Fish when her brothers don't want to play with a girl.
• Push her in the swing.
• LOVE HER TO PIECES

its camping not the apocalypse

I have a theory about camping: it should be fun not torture.

We have been watching a lot of survivor shows on Netflicks lately and Dp thinks "mental note, I can boil water in a soda can and eat the stems of water lilies" and I think "why is this man putting himself through all this?" I love being outdoors and in the quiet, but I'm not going to eat wild edibles or use my pee to make condensation I can drink. Its camping, not the apocalypse.

Quick visit this weekend to Hunstville St. Park.

Pretty good park, great trails but way to crowded. I know they gotta make money but, geewiz the sites are close together.

Also, beware the park will sell you moist sappy wood. We had trouble getting a fire going when we first arrived. And even when we got some of the wood dried out we couldn't get a roaring fire to get us warm.

Accomplishments:

• David can really get the tent up fast now. Our first time it took an hour, in the rain and cold. I think it took him 20 min this time.
• We took a pretty nice hike on Saturday, about 5 miles. I could have gone further but we were running out of daylight and I was pretty sure it would take 18 years to get a fire going to cook dinner.
• I hadn't made a foil packet dinner since Camp Fire, but we tried some this time, YUM! We had chicken, red potatoes, onions and bell peppers. So civilized. I tried a baked apple recipe but they were not good. I was expecting apple pie and got warm apple. So we had JUMBO smores instead. Have you seen these Jumbo Jet Puffs? Unreal.
• David has this skill of getting the tent folded just so that it always fits back in the bag. I told him he should work for Coleman. I try rolling sleeping bags and they are 4x the size that will fit in the bag, Dp has room to spare? I guess we all have secret talents.

Why is it always nice to get away even for just 1 night? I feel so recharged and renewed.

On our walk I was thinking how horrible the last few years have been. I struggled with my health, and watched my MeeMaw slip from this world, seen Mary decline and the incredible weight associated with supporting David and Gil, going back to school, losing the GI Bill and my Grandaddy's struggles to name a few. We had so many huge life changes and the difficult kind.

At the beginning of 2012 I was asking (basically begging) God for a break because I am out of steam. But it took most of the year to make it out of the bad stuff. Slowly in the last two months I've felt like the storm is dying down. Not that everything will be perfect, but just less heavy.

Finally, I feel hopeful about the future, even excited about it. That is a true gift.

it is the little things

I know some people have the mental faculties to blog everyday of things they are thankful for. I intended to do all the Thursdays in November and see how far I got?


I made Wheels, our little stray kitty, a house out of a storage bin and foam insulation board. Cats don't always respond to their human's crafty efforts. A lot of times there is a blank stare, huff, and walk away texting their little cat friends and say "i can't believe she thought i was actually going to like eat/play with/sleep in that. lol" (thats my teenager impersonation.)

But! Wheelsie sleeps in her house!!
It is the little things.

I made Dp get down our Christmas decorations already.
I understand some of the outrage at people jumping the Christmas gun. But I can barely get fall decorations out and the next day is January. So I said I'm actually going to get stuff up and down on time this year.
Step 1: Pull everything out 2 weeks before Tgiving
Step 2: Get annoyed at tripping over the boxes sooner
Step 3: Decorate Tgiving weekend!

What is it about a tree that makes me so happy?
It is the little things.

Camping Weekend is coming up.
We don't normally go camping so late in the year. And I'm pretty thankful our sleeping bags are rated for 20 degrees. My favorite part of camping is waking up early in the morning, hopefully you see a couple of deer in the low fog, and you get the first fire of the day going......
My other favorite part of camping is listening to the quiet, just nature, birds and leaves.

It is also our first weekend getaway since January, so I'm pretty excited. David got his hatchet sharpened and pulled out his cold weather gear from the navy... it is safe to say he is jazzed.



Earlier this year I started keeping a gratitude journal.
There is so much good in (most) everyday. But you have to be looking for it.
I'm thankful for all the little things that make life rich and full.
And most importantly I'm thankful for my kitty bears! :)

Flash Fiction: Veterans Day

What You Take

He clasps her hand and pulls her in close
lights from the deck of the ship glow orange and the normally grey Puget Sound burns in the dark morning
flakes float so quiet and collect on the northwest cedars and firs
they dance a goodbye with Coleman Hawkins
and with one small kiss he turns away
He is deploying today with a full sea bag



Very happy my veteran is now a civilian.
Flash Fiction - Indies Unlimited

Don't make me turn this car around!

*WARNING political post*

I can solve all of our country's political problems.

By the way, I am not a fan of Washington. The bickering, lies, insincerities... Yesterday no matter who won the election I was simply happy it was over.

But yes, I know how to solve the childishness political system. I can't believe no one has thought of it before.
In addition to checks & balances American democracy needs a
National Mom.

This isn't a feminist argument, well maybe a little. But not just any woman could fill the role. Sadly women today have to compete with men to succeed and therefore squashing the very qualities we need more of.

A man may be the head of the family but the force that drives it forward - Mom. Mom gets the kids up, stops the fights, promotes sharing, kisses boo boos, feeds us dinner and then surprise cookies if we finish our broccoli.
Ok, are you with me yet?

Let's let the men keep their big businesses power positions, men are great at making money. But maybe women are just better leaders. Especially when it comes to taking care of men.

There is too much testosterone in government hence the pissing contest... er presidential campaign. (What is it with men & pee? They will pee anywhere. Take a man into the woods for a walk and the first thing he does is giggle when he marks a tree.)

National Mom would

• Care for the little people
• Remind us to be nice to our brother/sister
• Manage the country's grocery bill
• And bake us cookies just because she loves us

I'm in.
And will be nominating Mary Poppins...wait she is British.

well, now Luke my friend

I have a love-hate relationship with my name. The whole dang thing is hard to say and spell and doesn't flow. Growing up I told myself it was cool to have a unique name all whilst desperately trying to get a nickname that wasn't "Anawee."

Sometimes I like to pretend my name has some meaning to make up for the time wasted trying to spell my email address over the phone before I give up and say What's yours and I'll email you. In Washington, someone asked if I was named after The Weight by The Band so I went with it.

Yes, my parents named me after a song. It was either Analee or Crazy Chester.

(I'm not a linear story teller. I don't know how I will get you guys to the place we are going but if you hang in there, we'll get there.
If you are unfamiliar with The Weight, I'm about to make a left hand turn, and it would be alright with me if you followed this link to listen to the excerpt or google The Weight Lyrics to try and unpack the "Crazy Chester" reference.
Once you've taken that mental break come on back and finish the post, I will not promise it will be more interesting than analysing lyrics from a song I wasn't named after but maybe you are bored and need something to read.)

I kinda like the meaning of this song.
How life sometimes hands you more than you bargain for and more than you can swallow. (Amen?) I don't fully subscribe to the cliche "God doesn't give you more than you can handle."
Not too sure God hands out challenges like dealing cards, rather you just happened to come upon a rain storm and maybe it will last just a minute and you won't get soaked and then again maybe it will last an hour and your lawn will get a nice soaking.
Life is pretty random and not always spectacular.

Melissa pointed out I only blogged once in October. (I'll take a second here to mention she hasn't blogged in THREE months, but no judgement here) While looking back on October for a wee re-cap post - October wasn't terrible, nostalgia has already taken hold. But then I read all the posts I started, posted, re-read and took down. Eeesh. I wasn't happy. I was
stressed
sad
overwhelmed
exhausted

I'm not saying I don't want readers/biographical historians to know the truth of this past year. (Truth: it has been doo doo) But this is why I don't like to post the freak-out posts:

in the moment The Weight is too much, but it doesn't linger.

Maybe I only say this because I see a  faint spec of light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe later today we will be in the middle of more rain
or maybe no rain at all.