High Five

In five months I will be on my way to celebrate my 5 year anniversary on a boat. (a little ironic right?) It has been booked. Passports ordered. It is on its way!

We are going to be cruising to the Eastern Caribbean. The thought of the relaxing week, reading on the boat is quite inticing.

So I have started my slim down. I knew it had to happen and Monday sealed the deal. David is committed with me. Here it goes.

The plan
-- Bye bye fast food. Sigh.
-- Hello wiifit plus. The new games are a lot of fun and I am enjoying the new option to plan a workout. I don't want to hear the underbreath comments that it isn't real excercising. I don't do gyms.
-- Walk walk walk. I plan to walk... alot. And I also plan to make dp power walk with me... just for fun, and the humor of it.
--VeggieMeals. If David and I cut out fast food, everything else that we cook is fairly healthy. Except our plate composition. We are going to try for the New American Plate. Basically look at your plate. It should be half veggies, 1/4 whole grain, 1/4 meat or protien.

And for now that is the plan.

Why I gave up empire waists

Maybe I should have entitled this How I cheated death and gave up empire waists. Either way here it goes.

My daily schedule goes as follows:
745- get to work, open office, make coffee
800-sit at desk, mindlessly staring at excel
1200- lunch & retrieve mail
100-sit at desk, mindlessly staring at excel
400-potty break, take mail to mail room

The 400 hour; this is my favorite part of the day because I like to imagine myself running/skipping out the door and never coming back. However, I always come back.

Yesterday, I didn't come back. I stayed in the elevator for 30 extra minutes. Here is that story.

I get into the ele with another woman, we press our respective floors, doors close. All is normal. We go up, a little sluggish, but nothing alarming. We reach my floor. Doors don't open. Elevator drops. (you may all gasp here) I always imagine myself screaming at this point but I think a more accurate description is- JAW DROPS.

Obviously the emergency breaks came on or I wouldn't be typing this. I press the call button, and they tell us help is on the way! Hooray! But the ele drops again and the breaks come on. We decide to put the ele on stop.
I must say the lady I was stuck with was someone I probably will never forget. She reminded me of Abilene, suede shoes, pleated jeans and salt and pepper hair-- heavy on the salt. I'm not crying at this point, but I know my cheeks are red and hot, I really hate that my fair skin shows my emotions. So maybe I looked like I was upset, (I WAS).

She looked at me and sweetly said "oh we'll be alright. we'll be just fine"
Are you expecting? (pats tummy)

I am sure there are occasions in which a woman would love to squeal YES! but they are few and far between. This was an occasions in which I had to say
no... um this top is flowy? and this uh empire waist...*cheeks getting redder*

Oh. I'm sorry. I just... I thought.. uh...
No no. Its ok. I have the tummy, just no baby in it. (pat tummy made of fat) *redder*

If falling to my death wasn't bad enough, they will have to determine if I am pregnant or just a butterball. Maybe I shouldn't have stuffed that brownie in my mouth just now. At least I went out with chocolate in my stomach remains, that is the only way to go right?
So what company do you work for?
*********, you?
**.

Oh good good.

Now they ask us to switch the ele to run to see if the doors will open. Ok? Elevator now does a poggo- up down up down- really fast. Here I must admit I thought, oh ok I really think we might die. You would too, it was really scary. We put the ele on back on stop.
I had to climb out of the roof of an ele in san antonio once. We were on our way to a gala, I was in a ball gown. They opened up the roof ad stuck a ladder in and we just climbed up. If I can do it in a gown, we can do it again.
Ok. (lord please don't make me climb out of the roof)

Now, picture in your mind a teenager learning to drive a stick shift, now imagine that car driving down an elevator shaft. That jerky, clunking is how we made it back down to the first floor. The doors open and we run out, seriously run out.

As we ride up our second elevator to get back to work she says, again sweetly

You know I didn't say it at the time but I thought we were 'splat,' and she makes a squashing motion with her two hands.

Gulp.

It only took me about an hour to calm down and stop shaking. But I had nightmares about not finding jeans in the whole store to fit me. I haven't been motivated to lose weight, because I have alot on my plate right now, and I am kinda overwhelmed as is. But there is no ignoring the pregnant comment.


Lastly, I might mention that I had not gotten my potty break. I didn't know how long I would be in there and was pretty worried I was going to have to tinkle in the corner.

Pregnant women do have to tinkle all the time.

2880/120/4

After 2880 hours (approximately), that's 120 days (approximately), that's 4 months (appro... you get the point) it- is- here!

Welcome to my home couchy.

Thank you for being the right size for my little legs, and t-rex tiny arms. Thank you for being just big enough to satisfy my enormous husband.


Little MichMansion is really coming together. I think it might be time for a little update. Maybe I will be motivated to take after pictures this weekend, and then again maybe not.

uninteresting facts from my life

I'm not exaggerating. I have nothing interesting to say today. Yet you (all 5 of you) will probably continue to read despite my warning. Oh well.

-- I got a new monitor at work yesterday. This is a big deal, cause I get all the crappy stuff usually, cause... well I am not important enough. I am friends with our IT guy, and he gave me the new monitor. It is a wide screen and I love it. I can see so much more of my pesky excel worksheets now, less scrolling is goooooood. Also it can raise and lower and hopefully will help with my neck pain.

-- Crazy Cat Lady strikes again. I bought the kitties a bed. Not a cat bed, a human twin bed. Rigby loves it and that is all that matters.

Anyone else who lives in a older house not have window sills? Weirdest thing.

-- I have not committed to losing weight. All these people working hard because of their resolutions and I am... eh. Right now that piece of bread, chocolate, taco means a lot to me. Although, we did unearth the WiiFit. Next goal, turn it on and listen to the disapproval of the game's MC. wah wah wah.

-- Couch day tomorrow. Can you even recall that in October we ordered a couch? Well it is finally here and being delivered tomorrow.

The kitties and I will have a long conversation about how we will get squirted if we put our little claws on mommy's new couch.

David and I will have a conversation about how we don't put sweaty, stinky man bodies on mommy's new couch.

And me? I will enjoy having a couch with comfortable arms... eeeeeeeee!

-- We have booked our honeymoon and I put in for my time off. It is really happening. Also put in pto for the boy's second birthday. What? Second? Yes. They are little men.

-- My writing workshop starts soon. I have been reading our textbook, and journaling to get my mind in gear to start cranking out 25 pages a week. I am pretty discouraged because I don't have the hope of a start, that is how blocked I am. This weekend I may need to take a long drive.

-- It is my half birthday today. Jealous? I am a whopping 26 and 1/2 years old.

The End

Stop the Baby Formula!

Almost a year ago I started getting parenting magazines, coupons for diapers and baby formula. It followed me to our new house. It was starting to get embarrassing. I had no baby, no bun in oven just a growing stack of baby formula and an informational packet on what to expect in the delivery room. (ach!)
ps- they had my name spelled wrong.

I saw this tiny grey print on a package of coupons- To be removed from this mailing list call 1800****. It took me .0 seconds to get to a phone. And just like that, products for my non-baby stopped.

Part Deux

I hate yogurt. Blach! It is not a liquid, not a solid. I mean yuck. And I don't want to eat sweet flavors, they make me gag. But I have to eat yogurt, it is good for my tummy. (have I mentioned I have gastritis? *eyeroll*)

Dear Yogurt Haters of the World,
Stonyfield Organic Vanilla Yogurt

I don't know if it is the organic part or the fact that it isn't out of control sweetened, or it is the right texture. Whatever. It is yummy and helps my tummy. Once a week I eat it with Post's Trail Mix Crunch (fiber!)

Stonyfield always has some interesting stuff on its lids, mainly about environmental stuff. I am not a green-freak. Sad to say since I once was the chair of the environmental committee!


Ok. Back to the baby formula, it is going to make sense here in a second.

This week's lid:
Stop Junk Mail

Step-by-step instructions to STOP junk mail!!(I am serious)

Yes yes yes! You can stop junk mail, and news to me stop the yellow pages!!

Well, this makes me happy as it is my job to sort mail, and the endless attack of junk mail. Whether or not you care about our planet, or you may already recycle your mail (that's good too), but who really likes dealing with excess baby formula? NO ONE!

Enjoy your new found freedom.

go back and do it right!

David and I just celebrated our 2 year adjusted anniversary December 13th. We have been married 4 1/2 years and have been for real married only 2.

This December on our anniversary I demanded, not so politely, to be taken on a honeymoon. David never got to take me and really we have never been on a vacation together.

I am beyond excited to say- I am going on my honeymoon for our 5 year anniversary! The planning is still in the works but it is for real. I am seriously going.

The saving of PTO (and money) has begun. And although 6 months isn't enough time to be as cute and skinny as we were when we got married, I want us to look cute in pictures so we are trying to get a little healthy. (only a little. no stress)

Don't think I am letting David get away with not planning this thing either. He will.

The only thing is, if David takes me on a honeymoon, what will I hold over his head?

un-Happy New Year

Yes. I dislike the celebration, purpose and general mention of the "New Year."

I know what you are thinking... wait, wasn't your last post all about New Year Resolutions? Ok. Yes it was. I get this makes no sense whatsoever. But I really do dislike it, despite what I say before the holiday. What makes it a holiday again? It is pretty lucky that I like black eyed peas, cause sheesh what horrible holiday food too...

So probably every year I feel this way just after Christmas. In one of the blogs I stalk, my victim of voyeurism, stated she was always depressed after Christmas. Is that what ails me? The return of halls un-decked, chestnuts sitting un-roasted, a lack of presents sitting under a tree (oh a tree), and the bleak knowledge that after MLK Day we must endure a long torturous hall till Memorial Day? Well... yes. (who wouldn't be right?)

However, I still think there is more to my disheartening around Jan 1. One is the loneliest number. It feels like the end of the old year and wow- looking forward is overwhelming, and frankly looking back is overwhelming too. Wouldn't it be nice to experience life without self awareness? I don't think I am think kind of person to stop analyzing, not to mention I think God calls us to challenge ourselves to be better people, better Christians. And pile on top of all that pressure, and realization that another whole year is gone already, your own "resolutions!" Aren't you feeling a little more grumpy?

I intended, with my little New Year's Exercise, to really focus on the positive and focus on the things that made me happy last year, but still keeping in mind the disappointments. It is only Jan 5 and I am thinking mostly about the disappointments- "no really," I tell myself, "AM, this year is going to be different."
Is it?
Sigh. Considering that my one thought getting me through today is visions of a chocolate binge tonight in bed with some kitties... I am guessing no.

So I say to this silly, guilt ridden holiday- BAH HUMBUG!