get back to where you once belonged

Much like the rest of the country, last week I stood in line to buy a book, I walked down an unfamiliar hall, and stepped through an open door. It was my first week of school.

Reaching this point was a struggle. At the beginning of the year I said, ok this is the last time I will try and if it doesn’t work then I will let it go. Well I finally barked up the right tree and found someone willing to stand up for me, and he got the ball rolling.

It is very strange to be back in the student mode of so long. I am taking 2 classes this semester and hopefully 3 next semester and then by some miracle I will have what I was due to me five years ago. I feel optimistic and old. Wait I’m not 21?

Did you know?
* College girls all wear cut up jeans. And not 80’s chic jeans, like” I shouldn’t be able to see your butt cheek” jeans.
*Books are just as expensive as we remember. It stings.
*College students like coffee… a lot.
*Gladiator sandals are in. I’m the only one wearing $2.50 flip flops.
*It’s hard to find a pencil pouch. Doesn't anyone like to keep their pens organized? OR a super cute planner? Like this sold out one. :(

Updates
:: I know what I am going to do the nightstand and might get it done Labor Day weekend… maybe. (Still struggling with my China Dresser. Its wood is pretty but it is the same color as our floors. Maybe lacquer? :D I told David if we choose to lacquer he can rent a paint sprayer. He got excited.)

:: Um.. so I am on Day 2. It is the hardest challenge, as hard as giving up candy for lent. Except sometimes you don’t even realize you are complaining till it is too late. If I was honest with myself I would say that I complained this morning about Vista. But I really want to make it to Day 4. I am officially changing the rules to a 7 day challenge.

still one

:: Day one again
This is a difficult challenge. David and I are both on day one again. (Maybe David should say still...) If I could stay away from the computer I might make it to a week.

:: Pretending

The rest of this week and next week (and then probably the next 2 weeks after that) are going to be intense. But I am pretending it isn't happening. I'm imagining that I am in a month of weekends. Mature right? Like when you know you need to lose weight but eat half a box of Sour Dots? Or need to replace the office chair you husband broke and the only one you like is 200 dollars? Not speaking from experience...

:: Tub Tub Tubs

I guess I am a goal maker. If I didn't have enough on my plate, I decided we really, really had to get the office closet organized. "We" spent last night getting some filing done, and sorting art supplies- I have a tub just for crayons, jealous?

I actually made the statement "Don't ever let me buy stationary again." (I was working so hard I was delusional.) Like a good husband David replied "As if you would listen." He's right.

:: To paint? To Stain?

We've been on the hunt. I need something to store my table linens and china. I've been stalking Salvation Army for a good deal. I missed a couple I shouldn't have and morn the loss of TWO art deco china cabinets. Lesson-- when you see something buy it! So we did this time.

My "China Dresser"

I don't know if I will paint or stain. Not sure what to do with it, till it lives with me for a while.

A Nightstand

I had been using a filing cabinet for several years. The filing cabinet was called off to duty so this will do. I will probably paint it.

twenty one

When I was frustrated as a child and whined “But I caaaaaan’t,” my mother would say “Can’t is a four letter word, it is a road block in your mind.” Meaning- we couldn’t say can’t- add that to MeeMaw’s no B-word (bored). I find myself repeating that to David now, see mom I listened! It’s true. Your thoughts are your worst enemy.

Remember in Apollo 13 when Ed Harris says “Let’s work the problem.” And then the gaggle of geeks takes a pile a junk and makes the filter?! My favorite part. That’s how I like to face challenges today; you can’t give up just because the solution isn’t easy. If you can’t reach, get the step stool. If you don’t know, find someone who does and ask. And when you have to put the round peg in the square hole- there is always a way… if you are a rocket scientist. (how I like to respond, doesn’t always happen)

Recently I have noticed David and I coping with life with complaining and negativity. When I stumbled upon another blog that mentioned the 21 day No Complaining Challenge. I knew this was for me and David.

Today we have begun our challenge to NOT to complain, be sarcastic, or gossip. If we mess up, we start over. We are wearing Zany Bands as our commitment bracelet.

I am ready. I want to be more positive. My eyes will get a nice vacation from all the rolling. :)

**UPDATE**

I didn't even make it till noon. Tomorrow is Day 1.

lamplighter

I dream about my past homes frequently.

I will dream about our Bellaire home 6 times a year. I think it is because they tore it down and I know I can never go back. I also worry that things got left there; it was such a hasty move and what if a bag of stuffed animals was in the attic, or a box in a closet. I don’t have a memory of that house empty. Just the one. Mom and dad brought us to look at a house, I was in fourth grade. It had hardwood floors and a pond/waterfall in the back yard. They asked us if we liked it, and right there I realized we were moving.

Last night I dreamt of The Shack. I don’t know why I feel nostalgic about the shack, it was a dank little hole. I try and remind myself of the first year I didn’t have air conditioning… in Abilene… in the summer. Me and poor Leah painting every surface in the heat. Or the bathroom door that wouldn’t close, that gross, strange shower; the possessed fridge! Even all that and I think of me and Abbey in our little shack, and Sneaky the stray, all the windows and short walk to school.

I guess we all want to get back.

---------

But before we were dreaming, I was trying to fall asleep and my mind wanders. Rigby was already on the bed and we were waiting on Abbey. David can fall asleep instantly… my attempt to keep him awake till I get sleepy. :D

A-If one of our cats had a secret lair in the basement which would it be?
D- Abbey, I guess.
A-If one of our cats was a secret spy which would it be?
D-Abbey.A-I think Rigby, the adorable baby is just an act.
D-Like a Kaiser Soze?
A-Yeah! He probably goes to his secret room and wears a bowtie and drinks Cattinis- shaken, not stirred, and drives a tiny, gray sports car.
D-Maybe.
A-Is Abbey Rigby’s Q?
D-No, she is M.
A-What is Rigby’s James Bond name?
D-(some theoretical discussion on whether James Bond is the given name for the 007 position)
A-Who is the villain?
D-DunnoA-Maverick?
D-I guessA-What would Maverick’s villain name be?
D-(some long explination, he doesn’t remember this morning, about his favorite bond villain)A-Ok, Mav Blofeld.
D-Well if Abbey has a basement she is Q, if she has a penthouse apartment she is M.A-Which one is Moneypenny?
D-The secretary.

le tired- it pours

The last several months have been an overload, the good, the bad, the hot, the heartbreaking, the joyful, the peaceful, the whirlwind, the sweet and cuddly, the cold and painful, blurry and sleepy.

I guess the summers filled with Family Feud, sleeping till 1, vacations to Grammy’s are long gone. Summer… gulp… is business as usual. Sadly. Am I a grown up? We have been so busy.

:: MeeMaw bought a new pair of pants this week. I love this. When my heart gets heavy at the thought of the future, she reminds me that life goes on.

:: I used to be able to say I am a fairly healthy person. These last few months have shaken me to realize that I might not be as healthy as I thought nor want to be. Sometimes you just have to accept the path you are on even if you never saw it coming. And yes, another MRI. I just can’t stay out of those things.
:: If you have been caged for many many years, when you are freed will you know to fly out the open door? I am getting ready to take my first flight out of darkness into the blinding light. And this will go down in history that sometimes you CAN win, sometimes they will tell you no, tell you it is impossible, but you can never stop fighting. Someone will hear you, someone will stand up for you, this time I did win the war.

“When nothing is sure, everything is possible.”
- Margaret Drabble

And now after an abstruse post...

A photo essay of the previous weeks.