Three Thirty

It's the middle of the night. I don't have an interesting story. Just typing on my phone at three thirty hoping I don't die without some record of my odd death. Write a poem about me if I do. She was a brave lass....

I woke up with an itchy arm. A very itchy can't scratch enough until I have a bloody stump arm. And I try to ignore it until my mind starts to wonder and I've contracted some horrifying ailment seen only on campy medical dramadies.

So I get David to turn in the light. David. David. No not the overhead the lamp. No don't get up just turn on the light I need to see if I still have an arm. I relay the above paragraph to a still asleep David.

Might as well mention that when the light comes on I see King Rigby has negotiated a spot the length of my pillows and I have spilled over into the middle pressed against David. We are essentially sharing a twin mattresses at this point.

Think I might as well pee. In the bathroom light my arm is fairly red, probably not a flea bite or anything harmless. Maybe it is SARS or a flesh eating bacteria. Can't tell if it is swollen cause I'm so dang squishy. Why am I so squishy? Maybe my over-squishiness has something to do with my impending demise.

The great hunt for Benadryl commences. I grab a zantac for heartburn, what sorcery is this? See how fast I'm deteriorating?

I'm writing in bed. Fearing I could slip into anaphylactic shock and no one would notice. Oh of course David fell asleep and was snoring the instant after his head hit the pillow.

Check on me later.
Uhhhhh (sleep grunt)
Don't let me die.
Uhhhhh
Did you hear me? I could have been bitten by an Amazonian poisonous tree frog. David?

Spray

When I used to wash dishes as a small child, standing on a kitchen chair, pretending I was making soups and stews with soapy water, I wished for a faucet sprayer hose.

I don't know where this obsession came from, but I wanted one. I wanted to spray the sides of the sink and spray my sister in the face. Oh how fun it would be to rinse a pan with a playful spray of water and not a boring stream straight from the faucet.

This morning after rinsing loose tea leaves from the sides of my sink with a cupped hand of water,
I stopped and grabbed my faucet sprayer.
It actually was fun.



ps- our second house in Houston had a sink sprayer. it wasn't fun at age 13 anymore. And neither was pretending to cook with dish water. Although now when I have to wash sink dishes I do pretend I'm Cinderella trapped by an evil ogre. 

pps- what was my mom thinking letting me wash dishes so young? i've seen my nephews was their hands, they are anything but thorough. Did mom come back behind me and rewash the dishes? Did we eat off of 6 year old washed dishes, and if we did - gross.

Confessions 30:1

July came pretty quickly this year. June was a busy work month,  the nephews and Lil B came down for a visit, it was hot as the surface of the sun, and an overall exhausting month.

Homegirl is turning 30 in July.
Big birthday.
Big milestones call for big revelations.
Let me reveal 30 things you may not have known about me.


Confession One
Its possible I have an oral fetish. My tongue plays with the back of my teeth all day long. It likes to run across each tooth especially the front bottom ones, and feel the roof of my mouth, and a create suction between my tongue and my pallet. Weird.  Sometimes I breathe with my mouth open just to give my face a break.

Even more weird is sometimes I take a sip of water and forget to swallow. It might be 2 or 3 minutes when I realize I'm holding water in my mouth. Just cause.

I also like to bite.
It just feels good.
A little while ago, Brody bit Dylan. And Leah scolded him for biting, apparently it was pretty dramatic. I kinda felt like this was my fault. The millions of times I bit Leah (and lied about it) she is probably scarred for life and extra sensitive to biters.
Leah- I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it. But I probably should have fessed up to making the bite marks on your arm...

hoodlums, bran, and what was I going to say?

This year I won't be turning 30, I'll be turning 80.
Get ready for a rant about my health, the increasingly youthful people in my elevator bank, and skin care.


:: I have another ear infection. It could just be sinuses or fluid, doctor will tell me tomorrow. Most of the people I know have kids, toddlers and babies. Three took their kids to the doctor last week... for "another ear infection."
80... 18 months... you know.


:: It is intern season downtown. The kids invade downtown, especially my elevator bank. I swear I thought it was Take Your Daughter To Work Day. This girl couldn't have been older than 11, in a borrowed pencil skirt, ridiculous heals and surgically attached to her iphone.

Although, being bombarded by the ever-younger crop of data entry child labor force is annoying, their migration patterns drive me bonkers. Where there is one, there will be 15 others. They travel in packs, like a school field trip. A coworker was telling me that she got on the elevator and the Youth Invasion got on with her, all 15 of them, smooshing her in the back and not aware that you should step out to let passengers exit upon arrival. No elevator etiquette.

Similarly, they have a lack of escalator etiquette and pile up at the bottom waiting for the last hipster child wearing khakis and an over sized button down and geez can you call that wrinkled sad shriveled thing a tie? And you know me- always put together and work appropriate.

Hoodlums.


:: Aging skin is weird. Other than my practically non-existent metabolism, and eye sight ("I can't read that tiny print!" during Game Of Thrones captions) I haven't noticed getting older, physically. But skin... older skin is different. My dark circles have real become black and not purple, pimples and bumps, and holy moly there are pores everywhere.

This weekend I did a little DIY rice flour mask, and lip scrub. I'm pretty sure my skin is brighter, but it is for sure softer and more moisturized. Listen, I know lip scrubs seem excessive and vain, but they feel amazing. Amazing. Do it.


:: NAP Challenge Week 3
What happened in Week 2? If you are me, nothing. The challenge was to move more, adding 10 min of activity each day or 500 steps. Yeah, ear infections, work, and overall confusion due to a holiday just lead to nada.

This week is another eating challenge - Whole grains.
Bump it up. Start out with at least one whole grain serving daily and by the end of the week eat a minimum of three (3) whole grain servings each day.

there comes a time

In a woman's life there are milestones, markers, that signal growth and change.
First lipgloss
First boy/girl birthday party
First date

Some recent milestones:

I drank coffee. Twice! I think this means I am a grown up. David is very proud of me, and monday I brought in my coffee to work and he said "were the people at work proud of you too?"

Mattress day mattress day everyone get excited it is mattress day! Our mattress is crap. Dead. The edging on one side completely collapsed a while ago. We've been "living with it" but in the last four or five months the need for a new mattress has become immediate. I'm not sure Dp and I have had a good night's rest in ages.
When we went to Arkansas to meet Brynn Leigh, we slept on an air mattress. Best sleep in months. An air mattress.

New Mattress was an investment we couldn't put off any longer. For two hours we laid on every mattress in the store and settled on one we both liked. This evening we get New Mattress!!!

You know you've been married a long time when you start re-buying things you bought when you were first married.




Opposite end of the grown up spectrum:
I still use my baby blanket my grammy made me.
It is the perfect weight for Houston summers. And living with a blanket hog, this is my blanket that no husband can steal in the middle of the night, my back up plan.

Mom had everyone take pictures of their baby blankets grammy embroidered for her mother's day gift. These pictures of pristine blankets poured in, and then there was my sad blanket. worn. unrecognisable.

I'm 30 years old (ish) and I love this blanket. And ain't nothin' ever gonna change about that!






ps- this was my picture for grammy, blanket maybe worn but it shows how much I lurve it.

rhythm

driving in the rain and my wipers matched the beat of my music

almost as fun as

when someone is walking/jogging to the rhythm of your music and they don't know it.

i like to imagine that they are listening to the same song at the same time because somewhere out there someone is listening to holst the planets on a rainy day too. i'm convinced the world is small and big enough for it to happen.

things which should be said

I am re-watching Wings on netflicks. Hilarious!! Dp and I laugh out loud, not LOL, but how we used to say "audible laughing" before abbreviations.

Wheels has filled out so much from when we first felt sorry for this skinny, scruffly cat. I picked her up tonight and and realized her extra fat is really winter coat! She is the FLUFFIEST cat, like a marshmallow peep troll doll wearing an alpaca parka!!!! I squeeze her for two full seconds before I reach cat body. :)

Our sheets get so crumpled at night, but don't get me started on our evil demon mattress. Dp can always get them so smooth before bed. Fluffed pillows and smooth sheets is my love language.

Me and mumsie went shopping for eyeshadow this MLK day. It was like being a teenager! And we had lunch and talked about meal planning and cabbage, definitely not like being a teenager.

Abbey orders Rum Raisin ice cream, in my dreams. She also works as a occupational therapist for disabled sharks. After encouragement to turn aquarium Abbey into a children's book, I've come up with two additional jobs for her. One involves the Iditarod the other a herd of the last American Bison.

Morning

Mornings stress me out.

I have the "i dont wanna go" fight with myself; then start my stressful list making in the shower; then comes the guilt from what I didn't do last night, what I ate last night, how messy the house is; full loop back to the "i dont wanna go" except this time its starting to sound like a great idea to stay home.

The following are half thoughts too small to write an entire post, but blog worthy nevertheless.

:: Last night I went to check on Wheels before bed and when I peaked out the window there was a dingo on the porch eating her food!!! (small possibility it was a dog) Insert chasing dog away story here. I kept watching the front yard for dingo's return when I saw him come loafing down the street, WAIT that's a giant possum! Ewwwwy. *ps Wheels was fine.

:: My rich, pulled together alter ego is so great. She has a clean and decorated house, wears cute clothes, doesn't sweat, and wraps her Christmas gifts with Container Store wrapping paper.
Seriously the most beautiful wrapping paper on the planet. And I want all of it.

:: This year I have painted my nails more than any other time in my life. Something about a 99cent bottle of nail polish makes me feel good. And when I can't afford new clothes or gifts for friends - nail polish works every time.

:: Rigby normally hates the blow dryer but this morning he was so cozy on "his" heated blanket, he just opened one eye and watched me, didn't even lift his head.

So now that I have avoided getting dressed so long that it is past leaving time.... but i dont wanna....

I'll put a pebble in my shoe

Last night conversation:

Dp-  I found it.

Brings me a pebble he has been kicking around for days but couldn't find due to our dark hardwoods and poorly lit hall.

Me- That's a nerd.
Dp- No its a brown speckled rock.
Me- It's a purple nerd.
Dp tries to smash it expecting to see little damage to his "pebble."
Dp- Ok its a nerd.

What you have learned about me today: I have a serious candy addiction. Also, we need to sweep the hall frequently.


*ps- if you have godspell stuck in your head now, join the club. I shall call the pebble dare we will walk together and when we both have had enough I will take it from my shoe singing meet your new road

little tiny inside dancer

i have a little person in my head.

not an imaginary friend - 
i don't really interact with her beyond a mutual awareness that the other exists

she gets to do all the things that i
can't
won't
shouldn't
DO

she tells the jokes that get the big group laugh
comes up with new recipes and actually pulls them off
sings along with the radio
her little house is clean and has living plants in pots on the front porch
she follows her dreams
has a purple streak in her hair
knows a lot of things about a lot of things

today she did a pirouette at work
to the horn solo in For No One
Beatles - Revolver