still celebrating?

I've seen trees on the side of the road already! Is it really time for Christmas to be over? We are still celebrating.

Christmas Eve
We had dinner at my parents and watched Home Alone, my dad's favorite Christmas movie. (And before our holiday movie? oh we just watched the first 5 minutes of Terminator 2... like the rest of America on Christmas Eve) We didn't go to midnight mass this year, and I am happy we made that decision to treat ourselves to a respectable bedtime.

Christmas Day

I woke Dp up. Who isn't still excited on Christmas? We opened our presents and went to church with rents and Aunt Susan. We had lunch at Lemon Grass, the family has done this before on odd Christmases. Mega buffet with shrimps, ribeye, curry, goat cheese covered grapes, sausages, crepes, omelets, bread pudding, tiny itsy bitsy pieces of pie... it was quite decadent.

We went home with full tummies and slept for 4 hours. Merry Christmas. Dp and I woke up from our slumber and went over to his parents cooked some pasta that didn't turn out well and watched Elf.

Christmas +1

So I worked on work stuff in the morning, yuck right? And I made Dp do some crafty things at the table with me so I wouldn't be at the computer while he is playing video games, cause that just isn't fair. And I think my mom told me that life was fair. Yes, that is how she phrased it.

That night was the big show. My performance at cooking Christmas dinner for the family. I've been full on freaking out over it for weeks now. And there was a slight disaster with the oven turning off and NOT cooking our food. Luckily Dp's family are the least persnickety people there are and my "disasters" were still gobbled up.

Christmas +2

I work this week. Yes, me and the other 6 sad souls who dragged their butts into the office.

Leah & Michael and twins made it into town around noon and certain little boys told MiMi I was taking too long to get there.

We had our little Christmas and this one was way better cause I wasn't in charge of cooking it. *hear my new found respect for my mommy and grammy*

Birthday and a Grad

Last night we celebrated Andy's birthday and David's graduation. Andy liked his cake and David loves "his" Ipad2.

to be continued....

make a joyful noise

Dp and I were trying to get the oven to stay on so we could cook some bacon wrapped dates. Don't we all love how trendy bacon is these days? No shame in loving you some bacon.

Mary started to get upset, which was somewhat expected for the time of day. I put on some relaxing Christmas piano music which she seemed to really enjoy. She got quiet and smiley.

Back to the oven.
Back to roasting eggplant.
Back to mashing potatoes.
Back to steaming tamales.

It started softly but grew. I looked and Dp, and he at me, and us at Mary.

She was singing.

I imagine God smiling, delighting in the joyful noise celebrating his birth, and maybe singing along.


Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise. Sing unto the LORD with the harp; with the harp, and the voice of a psalm. Psalm 98:4

christmas spirit

hope you all find your Christmas joy. i found mine

trending

My life is trend analysis.

All day I work at finding patterns in economic and employment data and their implications in commercial real estate, as well as tracking transactional activity. (yup, i'm as smart as i sound, but they treat us like screetch to their zach morris)

This is what is trending in my life:

Wooo's

• We went to Waco on Saturday to meet Jeni's new little, Oliver. Of course he is cute, they make cute babies. Dp and I had the whole day off on Saturday and it was amazing.
• Friday night I braved the Galleria and got 1/2 of my shopping done. Sunday I braved the crowds again and got the other 1/2 done. I love giving gifts, but this year it seemed difficult. Next year I am taking a cruise during the holidays.
• Dp is working at Yapa's again. I like it because it helps pay the bills and he brings home IBC root beers for me. Maybe he can work part time at Yapa's and part time at Crave and bring me home a gingerbread cupcake. Brilliant idea!

Boo's

• Having Saturday off was so good it opened my eyes to how badly we need more breaks. I'm not sure if anyone reads my blog (I think there are 4 of you), maybe God is a blog stalker, but please we need prayers so the family can make the best care decisions for everyone, especially Mary.
• My sad little tree has one strand of garland on it. Hard to get in the holiday mood without a decorated tree.
• I had a whole list of these but I'm losing my mind. I have no focus, no memory, no easy of sleep, no mental capacity. This busy month has ravaged my poor brain.

92

Today is MeeMaw's birthday. It is an easy one to remember, December 19, 1919. I wonder if this date will always be MeeMaw's birthday to me.

It is shocking that it has already been a year. In some ways it feels like she is still here. I love all her little ceramics and paintings that fill my day; a desert scene in our bedroom, her stork picture in the living room, lighthouse in the sun room and funny orange caterpillar on my desk at work.

Her house feels so small. It was bigger, I just know it. The backyard and her garden - tiny. The house that had this magic and vibrance is small and quiet now.

The magic wasn't the house, it was the woman in it.

2009 -90

2010 - 91

my breath

I didn't decorate. I did get the turkey's put up and put glitter on some pine cones.

I keep thinking that maybe if I get the tree up I will find my holiday spirit.  I've tried advent devotionals, holiday movies, a LOT of emotional eating and so far nothing but a deep desire to just skip December altogether. I just want to get 2011 over with. It has been an awful year. Last year wasn't particularly great either.

I was watching Oprah's Life Class, the episode about finding joy. (Do you miss Oprah like I do?) She says that if you really can't think of anything to be joyful about
  stop
  close your eyes
  quiet the world around you and the thoughts inside you and
  breathe
  think of your breath filling your lungs

Because maybe life isn't good or even bearable but at least you have your breath. And that is a start to findng joy.

Sure - I'm missing the "meaning of Christmas". I know everything this season means. I just don't feel it.

I think that is ok.

to do list

On Sunday I brought in the Halloween doormat, but it is still in the living room. I have my Tgiving turkeys and pumpkins out next to the Christmas tree which is just taken out of the box and not fluffed.

To Do-
Deck my halls

i'm the taco whisperer

As previously mentioned David lost his gi benefits this semester - rude but necessary awakening occurred when I went to examine our grocery/food bill. Shocking and sickening. I even made a scary pie chart. (Not to mention we were doing some pretty substantial emotional eating over the past 6 months on top of our emotional eating problem we both developed 6 or 7 years ago on top of being chubby little eaters as kids. Yeah we are working on this.)

I'm not a good cook. I can make taco meat really well and that is about the extent of my culinary abilities. Possibly because I can't follow a recipe, I'm not a rule follower.

However, I did reduce our grocery bill to $150/mo and have made some "decent" meals.

Crockpot French Onion Soup - easy peasy and I think this was $4
Meatballs and pasta - $5 meal using 1/2lb of ground beef, homemade bread crumbs with end slices of bread
Charro Beans & Cornbread - $3 meal! booya!
Cauliflower Crust Pizza - I know you won't believe me but it was incredible; read and try for yourself if you like. SO YUMMO and inexpensive
Stuffed Zuchinni - $3 meal! (I can't get over dp eating all these veggie meals)
Crockpot Zuppa Tuscano - $5 meal. DELISH! Better than OG, less greasy and it cooked itself while I was at work a +++

There have been some stinkers, some really bad icky things. ie - gruel, white bean soup (so salty i wanted to vomit), mustard chicken, and some others...

After 2 months, I am a cook. Not a very good one, but I know I can plan meals, keep dp interested, keep the budget down and cook everyday.

It is possible.
Isn't that what we all need to know in life? Things are possible?

thankful friday

last friday was Veterans Day, and I probably should have blogged this last week but I was terribly busy with the Nutcracker market and well, I was shopping...

If your only ongoing experience with the government is paying taxes every year and the occasional speed trap, you my friend, are a lucky ducky. Working with the government is like Weekend at Bernie's, wrestling a dead body.

David has been out of the military for 4 years this December.

I met Dp the month before he went to boot camp so military was pretty much all we knew. I had this idea that if we got married and I lived where he was stationed we would see each other A LOT more, but that didn't really happen. I was so cute and naive and believed that when we were out of the military I would be freeeeeeeeeeee as a bird now. No.

• Dp was still in the IRR- individual ready reserves. He got his discharge papers this July saying he was free from being called back, really really.
• The GI college benefits they bait you with are not, NOT, easy to get.
• The GI college benefits they bait you with are not, NOT, easy to keep. Sometimes you will be in your last semester of college ever and they will say you have used up all of your benefits.

In less than a month now David will be done with school and is currently looking for a job (holla if you have leads), and since September we have been benefits free. It was an unpleasant surprise and sent us scrambling to find some way to pay for school.

(this doesn't really sound like "thankful friday" but I'm getting to it, be patient. today is also "patience friday")

I was/am so scared about how to pay for this semester, but I am so relieved to be a real civilian. We are really free from the government now. We will always be veterans, and maybe you have to be a veteran to understand all the civilian benefits that are easy to get and easy to keep.

• I have spent 3 nights away from Dp in 4 1/2 years, which is still unbelievable.
• The government doesn't own him, seriously he was property, I'm not kidding. 
• We won't get a call in the middle of Christmas dinner saying we need to get back to the boat because they pushed up his deployment and he is leaving for 9 months in 3 days. Sigh, good times.
• I have a husband to carry heavy things, kill roaches, take out the trash, fill the car up with gas, and intimidate annoying solicitors.
• If we decide to have children one day, I won't be a single parent.
• When I have an emergency and need to talk to him, I can pick up the phone and will talk to him face to face that night. Instead of -- sending an email that says "next time you are in port I REALLY need to talk to you", and 3 weeks later he would buy a calling card and stand in a 2 hour line and we'd get to talk for 15 min.
• I own a house. And will be in this house till I decide I don't want to live here anymore.
• I can be a person again, not just a Navy wife, not following David around the country, not just planning for David's trips and welcoming David home. I can have dreams again, I am important again.

There are too many things I take for granted now that he is here all the time.

I am thankful to be a civilian.

plop plop fizz fizz

Oh what a relief.

Meet our two 60 foot pines trees.

Yeah, they are dead. And looming over my house, and my neighbors house. And for the past year I've been terrified every time I felt a breeze. (The drought didn't get them, they found pine beetles) Can you see Dp lurking? :)

Those were the pine twins last week.

And this week?

G.O.N.E. Just pine mulch.

A big empty space in the back yard.

Yesterday it stormed and I didn't break a sweat.

Bring on the rain!!

all dogs

It has been one hell of a year. I'm done with it already, lets all just get in bed and wake up in 2012.

Loss seems to be a theme for 2011.
I'm making a note to ask God what is the lesson he is trying to teach me with loss, cause it is not a pleasant learning process.

The furry world has lost some important puppies this year:

August 15 - Koda Rasco went to heaven. Missing his strong tail and creeper stare.
September 15 - Zeke went to heaven and I miss my sweet nephew Zeke.
November 8 - Muffin went to heaven.

That's plenty of loss for one year. What is harder than losing family? Watching them fade. There has been too much of that this year also.



I am realising that nothing will ever be the same and missing that sameness.

thankful things friday

It is easy to forget to be thankful. Sometimes life is bursting with things that cloud a thankful spirit.

Every year right around the first cool front I watch White Christmas, because we all want snow snow snooooooooooow! Bing sings:

"When I worry and I can't sleep

I count my blessing instead of sheep.

And I fall asleep counting my blessings."

This November every Friday I am going to list what I've been thankful for this week. Because sometimes there is a heavy weight of negative on your shoulders and the only way to fight dark is with light.


1. Kitty snuggles. Abbey takes care of me when I am sick and Rigby takes care of me when I am sad, and what more could a girl need?
2. Steaked potatoes, steaked potatoes, potatoes that are steaked, steaked potatoes!
3. Cooler weather. Whew, its here!
4. Warm bed in the morning.

If at first you burn the kitchen down... try try again

I remember the very first meal I cooked for David. Isn't that sweet?

We had just moved into our apartment after months of living in a hotel and I decided I would make an Italian dinner for my Italian husband. I set the kitchen on fire. Ok, maybe not on fire, but the smoke alarm went off and my meatballs ended up being charcoal.

I watched David cut off the charred outside of these "mini meatballs" and discovered raw innards. He choked a couple of them down and said they weren't that bad.

It was so awful I NEVER made them again. Monday I googled "easy meatball recipe" and apparently you are supposed to bake them. Last night was meatball night for the first time in 6 years.

And they were good.


-see i don't just feed him gruel...

reissued

i think i am ready to re-assimilate back into society. i had a little bit of a freak out.

one day i woke up and realised i didn't recognise me. i had become an anxious, scared, sad person. a single world weighed on me - OBLIGATED. i think they call that burnout, a deep heavy dissatisfaction with every moment of my life.

of course there are good things and happy moments but not a one because of me. i was trying force myself into a mold. somehow in my head not fitting in = something is wrong with me = i'm not good enough.

it is exhausting.

so i just stopped all contact. yes, i understand that is "running away". but i am beginning to feel more like myself, a part of me is awakening and doesn't want to be stuffed away where others can't see. EVEN IF i'm not a good enough christian, or wife, or worker, or thin enough, smart enough. EVEN IF i don't want to be a mother, or a chef, or a crafter...

silly as it may be i was trying to earn people's friendship and love. until someone said to me "people couldn't possibly be your friend because you are interesting, fun or witty, right? they are just friends for the stuff." when she said it back to me it sounded stupid.

where have i been? being selfish for the first time in a long time. i do what i want and i don't make plans cause i like that feeling. i'm not sure where i go from here. i guess i find my own, unique path.




how is that for a narcissistic post?

please sir

Wednesday night I came home, long day of work (I had a bad headache), and as I opened the door I had a sniff sniff moment.

Sniff Sniff... what is that smell? Trash? Dead rat? Biological warfare?!

It was the crockpot.
A crockpot full of gruel.

It looked like green, alien mush. And it smelled worse than it looked. And tasted... well, I wouldn't know.

Take that Pioneer Woman

ps- dp tried to eat the leftovers today. said he couldn't do it. thus leading me to the conclusion that he does in fact have taste buds.

pps- you know how mom's just know everything? how is that? mom instructed me to leave out a dish of vinegar to absorb the slow roasted fart/feet smell and it worked. mom's are infinitely smart, mine might be the smartest.

ppps- Scentsy users, you might like to know that although Scentsy can battle some tough odors... it was no match for gruel.

respite of sorts

If you haven't noticed I'm taking a little blogging break.
Not because it is work, it is actually important to me. I stopped journaling when I began blogging and it really is a fantastic Dear Diary journal.

Lately my life is less Dear Diary and more personal journal type material. Finding things to write for the public is becoming more and more difficult.

I'll be back. Things always change, especially me.

path maker

No one ever asked how I want to live my life they only told me how I should and there seems to be a lot of opinions.

I want to stand up for my own way, however odd and backwards it may seem.

Here's to the journey -- if not now, when?

favorite things friday

I'm dreaming of a favorite thing that zaps fat away and doesn't involve giving up my comfort food. And if someone says exercise I'm going to punch them in the face! This week I'm liking --



Clinque Redness Solutions - Daily Relief Cream
So my skin is wacky all of the sudden. I look at myself in the mirror and I don't know who the heck is looking back at me. This lotion really helps with some of my redness, I'm instantly white within seconds of putting it on. I got the cleanser as well but still have all sorts of pimples (I think ladies call they blemishes but lets face the zit truth).

I find it funny that I use lotion to reduce redness, concealer to hide red spots (see aforementioned ZITS), foundation to further whiten and then go on top of it with blush to make myself.... red.... again.





SleepRight Slim Night Gaurd

Ok, so I don't love that I use one of these but I clinch and it hurts my jaw, this is reality. So I wear a mouth guard. I've tried lots of kinds, boil, no boil and trays. I found this SleepRight brand at Walgreens and loved it! No more football mouth. And when I found the SleepRight Slim I feel in love (as much as one can) with a mouth guard made for a mini person like myself. I go through about 4 a year and order them online cause the Slims are hard to find.





A Friday WISH
I wish it were cool. Like the rest of Texas, I wish it would rain and save my lawn. I wish could go outside and go camping and make smores. I just basically want a vacation. And a raise so I can go on my vacation.

the naming of

What is in a name? A lot.

Shniggles Snugglesby
He is super snuggly. Every morning after my shower we snuggle while dp shaves and then we give him his pill. If for some reason he is busy with sunning or chasing a mouse or 1/2 an easter egg, I miss him terribly.



Asparagus (Gus) Schnail
Inhabitant of our tank , distant relative to the late Mike Schnail










Prince Caspian
Royalty and thinking about changing his name to *@






Red John
Our serial killer fish. He has been convicted and is facing sentencing for the murder of 9 fish and 1 snail.





Jojo
Yeah Jojo is a girl, so what. She is Jojo and she knows her name and she is a tiny ball of energy and we all love her. Who doesn't love tiny things.





That's not everyone- but just some of the names of my littles. Abbey is just Abbey, she hasn't told me her 3 names yet.











The Naming Of Cats
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.
- T. S. Eliot

pucker up

The days of Lip Smackers are behind me.

I wouldn't say I am a tomboy or a girly girl, but rather somewhere in between. When it comes to make up, I'm lost.

Since high school my go to lip color has been Softlips lipbalm. Last Christmas mom got me a tinted Softlips. I lived for this lipbalm. Sadly all good things run out. I can't live without Softlips, that's 14 years of continued use for you. But, I do need a new, grown up, lip color.

I waded through the bombardment of lip choices, went to department stores, 2 drug stores, and even Sephora to track down three options, from three different price ranges to suit my lip needs. I prefer a neutral lip, probably because I am so pale. (Maybe bronzer should be my next test) I tried on many shades and types of lip color and settled on 3 options that seemed to work for me.

Meet the three contestants in the race to be my new lip color.

Luxury brand

Fresh Sugar Honey Lip Treatment $22.50

Somewhere in between lipstick and lip balm, this super soft, creamy Lip Treatment is definitely a lip treat! The delicate color lasted to but not through lunch. Smells great feels even better on. A splurge but worth it.

Department Store

Clinique Lip Smoothe (Strawberry Bliss) $17.50

Lip gloss with color boost. Isn't sticky or goopy and pigment lasts longer than the shine, although didn't make it to lunch. This is a good option on top of a base color for a little extra shine.

Drug Store

L'Oreal Infallible (Forever Frappe) $9.00

Soft, matte color lasts to and through lunch. However, lacks the moisture I crave. When used with my trusty Softlips this is a perfect everyday option. Though long lasting it seemed to dry out my lips and I was hitting the Softlips frequently. But for the price and the long lasting color, a good deal.

The verdict--- LOVED the Fresh Sugar Honey, of course it had to be the most expensive. I found myself savoring the Sugar Honey and using the Infallible more frequently. Lip Smoothe is fun for a switch up, but I'm lazy and don't like to reapply. I probably won't rebuy. However, it does have longer lasting color than the average lip gloss so it is an option for those glossy occasions. With all the options I was not able to kick the Softlips habbit. That stuff is just fantastic. Yet, I was able to stop lamenting the loss of the tinted color and now stick with the plain strawberry lipbalm.

favorite things friday

My favorite thing this Friday is

IT IS FRIDAY!!! duh

:: Eating Right
I eat frozen meals. I know, processed food is going to kill me, but some days it is too easy to grab a frozen and go. I hate how most frozen meals are so high in sodium; and I sure don't need any other excuse to bloat these days.

Randall's carries a store brand - Eating Right. Their frozen meals are the best I've ever had. Ok, are they the best thing I've ever tasted? No. They have no salt or fat! But they taste pretty dang good. I'm hooked. They are not a cure-all, still thinking about Carrabba's carrots and parmesan dressing.... yum.


:: Cocoa AlmondsMy mom raved about these for weeks. I finally tried one at her house. You know Hershey's Treasures with almonds? Yup that's what it tastes like except they are so satisfying and I don't eat 4000 of them, unlike Hershey's Treasures.








:: STYCD
Sheesh this season. Marko, Melanie and Sasha are just perfection. Also, I'm a Jess fan, the judges are too hard on him. Wed. Night was CRAZY! Gaga was there and the choreographers really went for it.

You MUST watch--

Marko with All-Star Allison
I loved the message of this piece- it is so easy to hate, it takes guts to be gentle and kind. And Marko made a wonderful apology to his mother for words that may have hurt her in the past. Wow. I love art. Art in all forms makes people think, drives people to act, and changes the world. I can not understand how the government thinks children don't need art in school. WE NEED ART.

Sasha and Melanie
The female body. Strong, powerful, beautiful. I officially wish I could dance. Last week when someone at work said I wasn't capable of taking on a large project (cause I was a girl), this was the dance in my heart.

in progress

I'm not saying I'm old, or even that any of this was brought on by my birthday. In fact I forgot about my birthday till my work buddies reminded me.

So here is the deal
I've done this big huge thing and I wonder
now what?

With that out of the way I can see more of myself; a clearer picture. The things I should have done, road blocks, and SO many things I need to work on. Six months ago, if you asked me what was wrong in my life I could have given you a long list but only through the filter of

why couldn't i finish - what if someone finds out i didn't finish - if i finished no one would treat me like a worthless, soggy thing - why did it happen to me - i need to find the earlier version of me

I feel foolish for carrying all that mess around for all this time.
However- I see myself moving forward.

I have a list, a little 30 before 30 list. It isn't really about the big 3-0, but more like I have some serious ground to regain, eight years worth. Just a few -- I want to travel and take a watercolor class, and submit a piece somewhere, and dp has been begging to go skydiving.

I want to shed as much baggage as I can. How freeing would it be to start a whole new decade fresh? But always being in progress.


Its not who you were, its who you are
and we've come this far, no?
--incubus

don't do it

don't sign up for pinterest.

if you have any tendencies to addiction, just stay away. this is worse than facebook.

accomplishments

Does anyone else wake up, and while compiling the mental daily to do list start to have a full fledged freakout panic attack?

It's the mammoth pile of laundry, the hand towel that never gets put up cause I still haven't hung the towel bar, the old razor that is still in the shower and would take only 5 seconds to put in the trash but I can never remember because I'm thinking about the dishes in the sink, the stack of projects waiting for me at work, the walk I didn't take last night, and the bills that need to get paid, I need to remember my phone, ipod, makeup bag...

A spiral. And then I go to get dressed and don't really fit into my clothes anymore, and probably should add a walk to my to do list for today.

I'm sure no one else feels like this in the morning.... they probably don't snap at their husbands either.... cause that would be mean.

BUT! (yay there is a but!)
:: We went to the store this week and can stop buying lunch and dinner every day.
:: I went on 1 small walk this week.
:: We cooked dinner last night. Gasp.


Hope everyone can check something off their list today. It is such a good feeling.
mini

this is my post for july

I must write this now or it will never get done. People came back from the holiday with work on their mind and ready to work us hard. So ready for the weekend.

We've had a lot of fun this week.

Wednesday
My mom found something. More on this later.

Thursday
Scentsy party at my house. I'm pretty glad I stopped stressing and decided to buy chicken nuggets. I was happy to have people in my home. Its a little unnerving. What will people think of the way I live? My looney paint choices, and toy mice scattered across the floor? But it was good! Or maybe that was just the sangria talking.

Friday
My mom is a hero, she made so many meals. Feeding the boys and David is a full time job. We grilled fajitas. The boys still call tortillas T-tas. It is still cute.




Saturday
Leah and I had a spa morning. On a whim I decided to wax my lip. Yes. I have noticed some hair where there wasn't hair before. So, instead of stressing over something as silly as a couple of hairs, that maybe no one else can see but they bother me, I waxed them.

That was my break. I worked on a major project till 11pm but I finished and that's what counts. Some weeks really are just terrible. I said I was quitting more than 20 times.

Sunday
We went to the ball game and Minute Maid's AC needs to work a little harder. It was not cool. But it was a good game and it was the boys very first ball game.



It also happened to be my anniversary. I still don't feel like it has been 6 years. It has. For his present, I got him a firepit. And we came home, had icecream and played with fire. I can do that because I'm an adult.



Monday
I took it easy Monday morning. We just laid around with the kitties, who missed me and our special snuggle time. So I had snugglies with the littles.

Big thing at my moms, grilling, happy hour, homemade icecream... yumo.

I know nothing can be the same. But I can't imagine my family not being how it was. There has to be a new normal. Yet, my heart longs for the old times.

Newness
A week ago my mom found a tiny kitten on the front porch. We all love her. She is just the smallest thing you have ever seen.

We were calling her JoJo... when we thought she was a he. But the vet confirmed her femaleness. JoJo weighs 15oz and is 6-8wks. She loves to suck on her toe. It's pretty high on the cute scale.

What is it about a 4 day weekend that feels so good?

spinning

I'm literally spinning.

Last month I had a little episode of vertigo which resulted in an aversion to corn. (I was never a super corn fan to begin with) But that little episode lasted a week and went away. Wooo!

But...
It came back and hasn't gone away. And so I am spinning now, I spin at night and it wakes me up in the middle of the night, and I look drunk stumbling through the halls at work. And I'm grumpy cause I am a big baby and just want to sit sit for a moment.

I feel so out of control.

ps- when I was little I used to love my sit and spin. It was me pretending I was at Disney World. Now I will pretend I am on a cruise.

my love language is candy

my love language is not hugging
dp knows i'm not a hand holder, we link pinkies sometimes. it is the best i can do for a husband who's love language is physical touch. that's why he laughs when i tickle him. :)

Do you want to know the way to my heart?
CANDY!
Seriously, yeah this could be why I am caring all this extra weight. Gimme Gimme Gimme!

I have a small candy hoarding problem. Recently my candy stores were out of control, so I now limit myself to one container.

On year dp made me a candy scavenger hunt. It was the best present I've ever gotten from him.

All this to say--
Our 6th anniversary is coming up. Guess what gift is traditional? Yup candy.

because

birthday month is looming and
the numbers keep getting bigger

i received an invite for my 10 year high school reunion
already

how can i feel so old and so young
all at once?

the past year
has been enough, i'm ready for a break
may i take this year off?

in one year i
changed jobs
lost vision in my right eye and
suffered 6 months of terrible treatments that left me a lump and
aggravated an injury causing the 2 month long headache
learned my meemaw was ill and watched her slip away
i started my last hours of school
david's mom's illness began to get worse and
watched david ache
finished school

it is a lot. and where do i go from here
i'm tired and confused
unhealthy or not, i just want to get back to the way things were

my hair dresser/therapist - Darcy - reminded me that i can't look to society to tell me how to live my life. with her advice i've decided to make some changes, because i can't wait till i'm retired to live the life i want, even if i am "different" but mostly i need to take the jump

because i am different

baby weekend

Theme of the Weekend -- babies babies babies
two weekends ago)

Thursday night David and I picked up his brother and SIL and nephew Andrew at the airport. They live in Philly and we haden't met little Andrew yet. He was a sweet little baby.

Friday night dp's cousins came into town to meet Andrew. It was also a big celebration for Gil and Mary's 40th wedding anniversary. With Mary's failing health this was an esspecially important celebration.

Hugo's --When I daydream, I'm dreaming of Hugo's. Delicious.

I made the programs for my wedding, and regretted it. Messing around with a printer is always a pain. It is the one thing I would change. And I did it again. I thought, Oh I'll just whip somethign up, no big deal. 8 hours later the little placecards looked like junk. Luckily, dp's family isn't detail oriented people and thought they looked great.

I also made flower arrangements. Notice the "rubies" in the vase for their 40th.



Saturday morning we drove to DFW to find out the gender of my new nephew! Jeni, my Navy Sister, is pregnant with her second. I don't know how they can have another cuter than Logan. He is my buddy. He kills me.

Two words - Hulk Smash. :)


And then the reveal....

Another BOY!!!


2011 Baby Boom has arrived.

Favorite Things Friday

Happy Friday!
I wrote this two Fridays ago and it didn't make it on the blog.

This is what I am digging lately--
Calling all online shoppers, or lovers of pretty things, or anyone! One Kings Lane has designer products at dirt cheap prices. Sales last one day and there are limited number of items. They sell home decor, kitchen, fine art, outdoor, food, wine...

I haven't bought anything yet (dp and I are usually on a tighter budget in the summer) but I've come close at least 7 times. Really cool sight, you will love.

Long Pendant necklaces.I went through a big chunky necklace phase a couple years ago. Done with that. In with long, delicate pendants. Leah got me this A necklace for christmas and I wear it at least twice a week. I'm slowly collecting many more like it. (-- hint -birthday suggestion)

Dp got me these little earrings as a little treat. I could own this store and not be satisfied. I love all the little creatures. Good husband knows what I like and got me the little hedgehog too. Presh.


Cooking Adventure
So this cook challenge is actually exciting. I like impressing dp with my "skills." Just give me some cumin and watch out. We also made our own chimichuri. Unbelievable. Really. I'm also loving frozen meals that fill in the gaps on nights when I am just d.o.n.e.

When we moved into our house, in 2009, our dear navy friends (hey Gauls!) gave us a little housewarming gift card. I hoarded it. Thought about selfishly spending it on clothes... BUT I finally decided on a grill pan. Love it! We use it almost every night, and made our wonderful Chimi Flank steak on it, and dp can't get enough of paninis. I suggest a grill pan.

Yarn Balls
*UPDATE- So here is my little craft. I found this bowl/candle holder/?? at Ikea and began thinking about what could I put in it. I know there are all sorts of decorative balls out there, but I cringe at thinking of spending 10 bucks for a ball of twigs. Hence the yarn.

Can I say that rolling yarn balls is relaxing? AND cute! I want yarn balls everywhere. :) A testament to me actually having feline DNA?

Lots of weekend stuff going on. I guess I've had a long enough writing break and can return to the blogging world. And maybe I can work on an exciting project that you all might enjoy!! It is something you can really sink your teeth into.

anyone can cook!

have you seen Ratatouille? ♥LOVE♥ that movie
Meals during the last six months were either fast food, or eating out. Every single meal. It was kinda gross. And we got kinda fat.

Time for a detox. No more fast food or eating out, no soda, no more delicious desserts.

If I were to try to lose weight I would get frustrated and quit. Instead I am taking it one step at a time. We will probably fold in some exercising in this whole thing at some point. Small steps = achievable goals.

This is a huge challenge. Last night, after a rough day at work, I needed fajitas. Somehow I forced myself straight home and made dinner, that did not involve tortillas and delicious meat. However, I feel pretty good about myself for fighting the urge.

However, cooking means doing dishes. Who likes dishes? Mid-week update on the dishes. Success!! We have washed every dish from this week. My sink is empty and is not growing things. A++

So how I am enjoying freedom?
Love.IT!
Last night- cooked dinner, ate at the table, did dishes, watered the plants, watered and turned the compost, started dinner for tonight, watched some DVR, took a bath, and whooped down on dp at mario cart. In bed by 10.
What?! I can accomplish so much in an evening now.

I wouldn't be myself if I wasn't "doing a challenge." This time I really want to train myself to have good habits and see what happens.

ps- Mam's isn't eating out. Mam's can never be off limits!
wanted

slip away

Sometimes the stars align and you get unbelievably prefect weather on the same weekend you impulsively decide to get away.

Over the weekend dp and I snuck down to Galveston. We drove down Friday after work and got Mario's (Seawall & 7th) and got checked in to the hotel and hung out by the pool/spa with a tween under the flickering light of a volcano. It is probably dp being chatty, but we always seem to get stuck talking to kids in the hot tub.

Get ready to be jealous. Saturday we got up early and walked on the beach, had breakfast (mimosas!) and then took a nap. Who doesn't love an after-breakfast-nap, fantastic. After we woke up a second time, we went to the beach. Dp is now a tan, italian man... I am still white. (I photoshopped the picture. SOOC was...whiter. and i know you are scrolling back up thinking "whiter?! is that possible?" yes. and hairier)The weather was unreal. I was on the beach without feeling like a chicken nugget. I even got into the ocean, got splashed in the face and went back to dry land. Dp is one of those people who likes to walk out to the sandbar. I tried once, nearly drowned and Cousin Jon had to save me and carry me to the sandbar. I'd love to say this was 15 years ago... it was 6. :/

Anyhoo, I didn't die in the ocean this time. After the beach... ok fine, we took another nap. That is what I consider a successful weekend, more naps than there are days in the weekend. We had dinner at Fisherman's Warf and got dp his shrimp kisses and bread pudding. Sunday we had breakfast, walked the beach, went to the Strand and got my La King's cause I needed taffy. We also walked through an nautical antique store and I received a lecture on flags and hook thingies and pulley thingies. Just when I think I have blotted out the naval intelegence from dp...

We unfortunately had to return to the real world and do dishes. More on that later.