in progress

Last year I completed an end of year exercise that I found fulfilling. I tend to be um.... melodramatic. However, this exercise helps me take a clear look at the past. It involves 6 steps.

Step 1- List accomplishments big and small

+Completed a fiction workshop

+Have 1 draft of a short story

+Lost weight

+Won a promotion to a better job than the one I lost out on in 2009

+Walk/jogged 2 5ks

+Found a consistent retailer for Post Trail Mix Crunch (otherwise known as God's Cereal)

+5 dollar turquoise headboard

+Uh I dunno, a little thing like our HONEYMOON!

+Michmansion touch ups

+Had Chris, Jeni and Logan down for the first time

+China dresser (5 year anniversary present) AND got the china and table linnens in it!

+Started and completed 2 courses- 2 closer

+Organised my art closet

+Painted Michmanion's front porch

+Found healing for my headaches and eye

Step 2- List what gave you pleasure

+Kitties- Abbey and Rigby loving their new house

+Twin time- turning 2, playing at Gigi's, hugging MiMi, hearing my name from their little mouths

+Beginning to write again

+New camera (Nugget)- allowing myself to feel creative

+My new job- nerdy and loving it

+Waco Zoo with Racsos

+Camping at Double Lake

+Beatles Rock Band

+Sunroom

+Cruise- watching David eat, power snorkeling, hot tea and a show, peaceful in Gran Turk

+New down pillows

+Writing Brianne

+David getting his FINAL discharge letter!

Step 3- List disappointments, unfulfilled expectations, thwarted intentions, sources of displeasure

+MeeMaw's health

+David's mom's health

+My vision

+Shots- bruises, paint, swelling, discomfort

+Headaches

+Struggles with university bureaucracy

+Gaining all the weight back

+Not cooking... ever

+Not calling Leah every week

+Not calling Jeni every week

+Not calling Christi every week

+Not being a very good friend

+Not seeing Edie, Logan, and Rex

Step 4- Who do I need to forgive

(keeping that private)

Step 5- Who do I need to thank

+Mel- for lifting me up everyday and walking very very slow with me

+Mom- always my best friend and first email in my inbox every morning

+David- taking orders, putting up with all my stuff, watching me cry and struggle and never holding it against me

+Daddy- always looking out for me

+Drs- for healing

+242- friendship and understanding

+Abbey and Rigby- taking care of me while I was so ill

Step 6- Last thoughts about 2010

I like the idea of "in progress", the idea that I am not yet finished. 2010 has been pretty awful and I don't anticipate 2011 to be the best year of my life with the present health of both my precious MeeMaw and MIL Mary. I've been tested physically with some difficult trials, but made my way out. I've been tested emotionally as taking courses has open some wounds I would have preferred to stay hidden.

But through out this difficult year, I returned to church. Although, my relationship with God is not perfectly resolved, but I think God just asked me to show up and allow Him to work in His time and His way. And so I did and so I wait.

Because I am

still in progress.

here is where we all blog about our Christmases

This Christmas was fully crazy and stress-filled and I could have used a week of prep time and two more days just to soak it up and enjoy. But at least it finally cooled off. Christmas Eve Eve we had the windows open. That's just silly.

Christmas Eve we did a thing at my parents.

Those boys. What a hoot.

And after the thing went to watch David's parents sing in their Christmas Eve service. I'm not saying church is a bad thing, I like church, but I don't like church in the middle of the night. Its it much too late, and I get grumpy when I am sleepy. It was also raining, and I get grumpy when the hem of my pants are wet. I was a tad grumpy throughout the whole thing.

After church, by this time it is early Christmas morning and Santa didn't come because we were still awake, we went home to ready the house for Christmas breakfast with David's parents. Thank goodness we stayed up to get everything ready because we over slept Christmas morning.

And when you get the call at 8am asking which is your house and your hair is sticking straight up, you still have your mouth guard in, sleepy crusties in your eyes and realise you have to make breakfast in 13 seconds... it feels a little like HOLY crap! So it went something like this:

Me: David! Brush your teeth! Ok- while I get the peaches and wassail going you mix up the waffel batter.

DP: Rodger

Me: David! take this trash out while I light the candles and try to fix the waffle batter.

DP: Rodger

It was a mad dash. I'm glad it wasn't a total disaster. Somehow we made "spiced" peaches, gingerbread waffles, eggs, sausage, rolls from 3 Brothers, wassail and coffee. And after breakfast I had written a little min-advent devo and after that his parents drove to DFW while we collapsed.

Christmas just didn't feel quite right this year. I'm not sure what it was. Nothing feels the same anymore, like everyone was aware that from now one everything is going to be different.

Sorry to keep you waiting... a study of the feline life. mmmmmm jealous!!

dig dig dig till i drop

where i want to be-
floating down the comal

sleeping on a sunny bed with a pile of kitties

in the car on an implusive adventure

where i am-

in my cube

doing work

smashed up against my heater

crunching year end numbers

just dreaming

Humid Christmas

by David & AM

I'm dreaming of a humid Christmas

just like the ones I've always known.

Thanks to La Nina

we're sweating in sweaters

and everyone smells like B.O.

I'm dreaming of a humid Christmas

just like the ones I've always known

Instead of scarves and mittens

shorts and flip flops

adorn every Houstonian.

I'm dreaming of a humid Christmas

I guess we skipped winter this year.

So turn on your fans and open the windows

and may all your Christmases be warm.

So turn on your fans and open the windows

and may all your Christmases be warm.

a million things

December seems to be a busy time of year. that is annoying right? don't we all wish we could just enjoy the season? not quite so.

Finished

Somehow all of my finals and a huge work project were all occurring in the same week. I survived. That was two weeks ago. But it feels like I haven't slept since then.

Last week I finished 6 months of treatment for a medical issue I had way way back before the cruise. Finishing that was an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders. (Enormous is far too small of a weight.)

I also am completing physical therapy for another medical issue. Apparently my headaches were caused by a neck injury a year ago. I'm just saying this for all you people out there who are suffering from headaches- no matter what they say it isn't all in your head. After 1 treatment my headache was gone, and after 3 treatments I am shocked how I feel. I didn't even realise how much daily pain I was living with. Phenomenal difference.

Working

Christmas should come in November, before year end work. I am busy at work and happy to have a job I enjoy. But still wish there weren't as many late nights right before Christmas. There is something about being in the office when it is dark out that just makes you feel lonely, like the only working person in downtown. Hello??? (echo)

Nienty One

Yesterday was MeeMaw's 91st birthday.

We sang to her in church and I cried. I cried because I love her. I cried because I will miss her. I cried because I was so glad we had a big party for her last year (90). I cried because I only wish for a 92nd birthday and a 95th and a 100th. And I cried because how wonderful for her to have happy days left to celebrate. All that in one a minute long song.

We went back to her house for cake.

She is so precious to me and to all of us.

Flowers from her front yard. They bloomed for her.

The next couple of days I am determined to get in the Christmas spirit. Busy or not!

avoiding

meet my husband

mr congeniality

he is tall

he is goofy

he is abnormally likable.

if you are my friend chances are

you will end up liking david more than me even though he drones on about the Navy (just tell him you don't care, that usually shuts him up)

he is ticklish

all over but especially his feet. getting his feet is like finding the gold at the end of the rainbow.

if you are my beloved kitty, abbey,

you will betray me and like david more. if i squeezed you like he does you would pee on me but you make a giggly noise when he does it.

he watches wizards of waverly place with me

he may not have wanted everyone to know that, but maybe he will think twice about leaving me alone to complete my grammar final

he is playing poker right now

with veterans

he was going to bring a cigar but i reminded him he hates cigars

and those are things you wouldn't normally find out about david unless i was avoiding homework.

you are welcome. :)

belated thanks

I was in bed for November, quite literally (so was Rigby). Finally after a year of struggling it all caught up with me and my body just quit on me. I had a lot of time to think. I wish I could say I was counting my blessings cause I wasn’t. I was thinking about where I fit in and maybe more accurately that I don’t fit in anymore.

As my friends have started to get married and have kids, I find myself the odd one out. These are the best years of their lives, there is nothing more rewarding than being a parent, they never knew love till they looked in the eyes of their children. Clichés. But is it true? Do I not know what love is? If I end up without kids, by choice or by nature, am I unfulfilled?

Well I am happy. I like my little life, in my little house, with my cats, and my husband. I like things the way they are. I truly have everything I ever wanted:
a house with no moves in the foreseeable future
a job where I don’t sweat or push a cart and get as many potty breaks as I want
happy, healthy kitties with little wet noses
David at home every night.

I’ve had a crummy six months but I’m still happy. When David and I talk about the future we are excited.

If that isn’t a blessing I don’t know what is.

still in the car

Not sure how to sum up the last month.

There is a scene in Jurassic Park-
(um... is it weird that I compare my life to a dinosaur movie? is it weird it is my favorite movie to watch when I am sick?)

There is a scene in JP when you first meet T-Rex, he pushes the Jeep (with Tim inside) over an embankment and it lands in a tree. Grant comes to get Tim and they have to race the Jeep down the tree. The scene ends at the monstrous roots of the tree.

Tim: Well... we're back... in the car again.
Grant: Well, as least you're out of the tree.

That has been the last month- still in the car but out of the tree.

In other news.... unrelated to dinosaurs

:: I got a snail and a shrimp. (that's weird too isn't it?)
Meet Pickles and Mike Schnail. Pickles has even molted once!

:: Remember those plants?
David dug me some holes. There they be in all their glory... er soon to be glory.

:: Got some poinsettias for the front porch. They look good against the white. I don't hate the porch anymore. It's growing on me.

:: I broke some one's head off. :/

And when it all seems too much, and the days too long, and when I think I couldn't possible take another step or breath...

her sweet face makes it easier.

come to the water

i like a bath.

i like to lay with my back on the bottom of tub, and my nose, mouth, and eyes just poking above the water.

it is quiet. just the sound of breathing.

tonight when my mind is overcrowded i crave a simple silence.

a few moments to just listen.

inhale

exhale

the opposite of rest

Are you tired? I am.
I think it should be Thanksgiving next weekend. I’m very excited about the days off, the smell of cooking (God smiles when he smells onions and celery cooking), the break from go-go-going...

Maybe if I am this tired I should take a weekend to just relax. That would be smart. I’m not.

Project Green MonsterGoal: Backyard privacy
Status: Ongoing
I live in an older neighborhood with chain link fences and backyard neighbors. I’m tired of watching their fire pit and being shy about having our windows open. I took my horticulturist (mom) to Houston Garden Center for privacy shrubs. Houston Plant Centers is having a great sale, 70% off. If David could dig me a bunch of beds I would have gone nuts. Instead I got 8 large shrubs for under $50. Still working on getting them in the ground.

Project Deck
Goal: De-Scuz the deck
Status: Complete
I spontaneously decided I wanted to stain the deck. So we did. I don’t like it. It is going to take some serious getting used to. We went with an opaque white stain. I guess I was envisioning Tom Sawyer and instead got white paint. The jury is still out.

Haunted MichMansion

Happy Halloween

They love me. ;)

anayeee

The boys came to see me this weekend.

*Note the delusion in that thought, (a) the boys were brought, (b) they came to see Michael's family, MeeMaw, and MiMi (c) I don't care about said delusion, I bribed the wee ones with presents.

And not only presents but I play hide and seek, trick or treet, pretend to sleep (that's my favorite) AND they were on my croquet team! They love Anayeee - not a delusion!!

Brody

He loves to giggle, and organize- see those mallets LINED up?! Wow.

Dylan
A silly boy, he is a sweetheart! And he likes to frown in pictures. Don't you love that hair? MeeMaw
She made it out to meet our new cousin Jarrod. Congrats Elissa! She is getting married on Saturday.

crowodactyl

Singing in the dead of night

Meet the large, frightening, prehistoric crow that lives in Sam Houston National Forest.

Crowodactyl

I must attract abnormally large birds. (If some of you recall the MONSTERS in Washington) Well, these were the BIGGEST crows I have ever seen in my life. They woke us up early Saturday morning with their booming "CAW CAW." And they stare and shoot death rays. I wish there was some perspective in that picture but the trees are quite large as well.

Let me paint this mental image for you....

4 of them could carry David off with their talons

1 could take me if it got a good enough handful of flesh (I'm sure it could)

I did what now?

I should probably clear up some confusion about me... camping. I grew up camping, and in Washington we would go to our favorite park, if David were home and if it wasn't pouring. But I guess I should clarify how I define camping b/c I am most definitely NOT a wilderness woman.

1. It can not be hot. I hate being hot.

2. I do not "go" in a hole. I don't understand the logistics of it, I must have a facility.

3. I need running water because it is 2010 and not 1300AD.

4. I drive up to my campsite- I don't hike my crap through the woods. That's just silly.

There you have it. I enjoy nature, fresh air, animals, trees, quiet, walks with gravel underfoot, tents, and little camping gadgets.

Glad I still have the ability to surprise some folks.

all things snuggly

Remembering sweet Juni today.

But as I was telling David, I wouldn't have my Abbey and Rigby without Juni leaving when she did. And I can't imagine my life without those two. Next month Abbey will be 6 1/2 yrs and Baby Buttons will be... I can't even say it.... 5 years old.

He loves to shlump against the wall. It's his "I'm too lazy to sit like a normal animal" possition. This morning he goes to flop against our bedroom door when it wasn't fully open, he rolled backwards! Tried again, rolled over! Then decided to scoot over to a fixed wall and shlump. This little kitten is five? Really?

Abbey is my sweetheart. She loves when I take showers and baths. She waits on the bathmat for me everymorning durning my shower and when I am done we sit on the edge of the bathtub and brush our teeth together. It's our snuggle time. When I take baths she tries to drink the hot water. Mommy is nice and gets a little handful for her to taste.

If I am getting frustrated at work I just call David to see what the kitties are doing. They make me happy.

unplugged

David and I went camping at Double Lake last weekend.

We have been super stressed and stretched as thin as thin gets. And that is just not good for anyone. But I got out of work a bit early, quick drive up, and had the tent set up by 4pm.

Note- if you think you might want to go camping plan early the Scouts had all of TX State parks booked, and we called 3 weeks in advance. But it allowed us to stumble upon little Double Lake. Mee Maw has swam in Double Lake- I couldn't help think of her as a young girl swimming in this lake and sitting under the trees.

It was perfect camping weather. I don’t think I have ever experience such perfect camping weather. I only got sweaty on our walk and never shivered. (It’s hard to keep me a comfortable temperature, I confess I am pretty whiney when I am too hot or too cold.)

Saturday we sat around, and I just let my brain idle, no thinking- no talking- just sitting. It was nice. I wish I could find that in real life. Here I am working on crisis at work, crisis at home, crisis here, there, and everywhere. How do you turn off that noise? Camping.

Please enjoy a couple of photos from our weekend:

new every morning

I’ve been blogging for 5 years.
I remember being all alone in an apartment in Washington, David was TAD on the Ragan, knew no one, my kitty was in Houston and I was searching for some way to feel connected to the world.

In my very first post, I talked about having this new life and being excited about the future- I can hear how young I sounded. I don’t think I can say that it was everything I thought it would be, life just isn’t that way is it?

Since the unedited and unfocused P.O. Times I have wondered, what is this blog? What is it for? Who is out there that reads this thing? What level of truth and openness is required?

I don’t have a perfect life to share and post pictures of. I’m hopelessly flawed as a woman, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a child of God. I struggle with comparing myself with others, I want to be good and hold myself to an impossible standard. This is going to be shocking (not) but I am a private person. I hide who I am so people will like me, I hide who I am to protect wounds, I hide who I am because I have secrets.

It is scary to me that God knows who I am, he knows me beyond the blog. He has seen the ugly, the mean, the evil, the careless- all the stuff I try to hide. But for some reason He still loves me and His eyes see me for the good, as the forgiven. As frequently as my life changes, God’s love is renewed. It is constant. Five years of blogging, five years of ups, downs, moves, and change. God is the constant.

Whatever this blog is or represents I have enjoyed the excuse to share my life. (and wish I still had time for the videos... loved those)

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

pep-less

There is a woman in my office who is always in a good mood, if she had a ponytail it would swing back and forth that is how bouncy her walk is. She works hard and plays hard, the woman even works out on her lunch break. That annoys me.

I have no energy to move. I am so tired and definately have no pep in my step. That can sum up September- which was heavy laden with my health problems, family struggles, school, work, "fall cleaning" and a quick trip to Abilene. And last Saturday we met Logan, Jeni and Chris in Waco and went to the zoo.

The good parts...

Maybe I am just getting old and there will not be anymore days where you spring out of bed refreshed.

ps- in case you were wondering what should accompany stewed bush meat please refer to the Bush Meat Cookbook. Side dish-Plantains. "Plantains are like bananas with machismo."

internal morning monologue

Someone is mowing. It’s really bright this morning. What day is it? Sunday? No, yesterday was Monday its probably Tuesday. Stop mowing.
“david what time is it?”
“8:49..wait! 8:49!!!!”
“ACH!”


Meanwhile…


“My plan is almost complete, soon I will have mom snuggling with me FOREVER!!!”

ps- what does a kitty supervillan have on his lap? his "fluffy" white owner?

a spoonful of sugar

We were a little late with the spring cleaning... more like fall cleaning.

To make my study corner more conducive to actual studying and not storing crap we worked very hard to clean up the office and its closet. Now I have a happy little corner. (David fully consumes the office- he is a spreader-outer.) All my stationary has a place, my art supplies are easily found, my gift wrapping funness is stored happily in tubs. I can't believe our front bedroom and closet are for real clean. It only took a year. Pretty right?

AND we organized my pantry which has been a complete disaster ever since we moved in; I always said that we would get around to it. We actually did this time- and everything has a place with like items AND we have so much more space.

I totally outdid myself and gave myself a week-long migraine. I'm allergic to organizing. :D

bush meat

Physical Anthropology-
Sometimes when a student is the last soul on the planet to register, and can't find anything else to take, and even World Music won't accept said student, this poor little student ends up in Anthropology.

My professor is an animated, silly man from Africa which provides a unique perspective. Enjoy:

Last class my professor stops in the middle of lecture (Theories leading up to Evolution) to proclaim that he is a Christian and does not believe in evolution. He believes that God created man in His image, and that we are not related to monkeys. Dr. Professor is a Creationist Anthropologist.

And besides that he enjoys eating monkeys. If humans were related to monkeys he would not be able to enjoy "bush meat." Moreover, the zoo is a tragic loss for him as he cannot visit the monkey house without salivating, and the Houston Zoo has kindly asked him not to return.

get back to where you once belonged

Much like the rest of the country, last week I stood in line to buy a book, I walked down an unfamiliar hall, and stepped through an open door. It was my first week of school.

Reaching this point was a struggle. At the beginning of the year I said, ok this is the last time I will try and if it doesn’t work then I will let it go. Well I finally barked up the right tree and found someone willing to stand up for me, and he got the ball rolling.

It is very strange to be back in the student mode of so long. I am taking 2 classes this semester and hopefully 3 next semester and then by some miracle I will have what I was due to me five years ago. I feel optimistic and old. Wait I’m not 21?

Did you know?
* College girls all wear cut up jeans. And not 80’s chic jeans, like” I shouldn’t be able to see your butt cheek” jeans.
*Books are just as expensive as we remember. It stings.
*College students like coffee… a lot.
*Gladiator sandals are in. I’m the only one wearing $2.50 flip flops.
*It’s hard to find a pencil pouch. Doesn't anyone like to keep their pens organized? OR a super cute planner? Like this sold out one. :(

Updates
:: I know what I am going to do the nightstand and might get it done Labor Day weekend… maybe. (Still struggling with my China Dresser. Its wood is pretty but it is the same color as our floors. Maybe lacquer? :D I told David if we choose to lacquer he can rent a paint sprayer. He got excited.)

:: Um.. so I am on Day 2. It is the hardest challenge, as hard as giving up candy for lent. Except sometimes you don’t even realize you are complaining till it is too late. If I was honest with myself I would say that I complained this morning about Vista. But I really want to make it to Day 4. I am officially changing the rules to a 7 day challenge.

still one

:: Day one again
This is a difficult challenge. David and I are both on day one again. (Maybe David should say still...) If I could stay away from the computer I might make it to a week.

:: Pretending

The rest of this week and next week (and then probably the next 2 weeks after that) are going to be intense. But I am pretending it isn't happening. I'm imagining that I am in a month of weekends. Mature right? Like when you know you need to lose weight but eat half a box of Sour Dots? Or need to replace the office chair you husband broke and the only one you like is 200 dollars? Not speaking from experience...

:: Tub Tub Tubs

I guess I am a goal maker. If I didn't have enough on my plate, I decided we really, really had to get the office closet organized. "We" spent last night getting some filing done, and sorting art supplies- I have a tub just for crayons, jealous?

I actually made the statement "Don't ever let me buy stationary again." (I was working so hard I was delusional.) Like a good husband David replied "As if you would listen." He's right.

:: To paint? To Stain?

We've been on the hunt. I need something to store my table linens and china. I've been stalking Salvation Army for a good deal. I missed a couple I shouldn't have and morn the loss of TWO art deco china cabinets. Lesson-- when you see something buy it! So we did this time.

My "China Dresser"

I don't know if I will paint or stain. Not sure what to do with it, till it lives with me for a while.

A Nightstand

I had been using a filing cabinet for several years. The filing cabinet was called off to duty so this will do. I will probably paint it.

twenty one

When I was frustrated as a child and whined “But I caaaaaan’t,” my mother would say “Can’t is a four letter word, it is a road block in your mind.” Meaning- we couldn’t say can’t- add that to MeeMaw’s no B-word (bored). I find myself repeating that to David now, see mom I listened! It’s true. Your thoughts are your worst enemy.

Remember in Apollo 13 when Ed Harris says “Let’s work the problem.” And then the gaggle of geeks takes a pile a junk and makes the filter?! My favorite part. That’s how I like to face challenges today; you can’t give up just because the solution isn’t easy. If you can’t reach, get the step stool. If you don’t know, find someone who does and ask. And when you have to put the round peg in the square hole- there is always a way… if you are a rocket scientist. (how I like to respond, doesn’t always happen)

Recently I have noticed David and I coping with life with complaining and negativity. When I stumbled upon another blog that mentioned the 21 day No Complaining Challenge. I knew this was for me and David.

Today we have begun our challenge to NOT to complain, be sarcastic, or gossip. If we mess up, we start over. We are wearing Zany Bands as our commitment bracelet.

I am ready. I want to be more positive. My eyes will get a nice vacation from all the rolling. :)

**UPDATE**

I didn't even make it till noon. Tomorrow is Day 1.

lamplighter

I dream about my past homes frequently.

I will dream about our Bellaire home 6 times a year. I think it is because they tore it down and I know I can never go back. I also worry that things got left there; it was such a hasty move and what if a bag of stuffed animals was in the attic, or a box in a closet. I don’t have a memory of that house empty. Just the one. Mom and dad brought us to look at a house, I was in fourth grade. It had hardwood floors and a pond/waterfall in the back yard. They asked us if we liked it, and right there I realized we were moving.

Last night I dreamt of The Shack. I don’t know why I feel nostalgic about the shack, it was a dank little hole. I try and remind myself of the first year I didn’t have air conditioning… in Abilene… in the summer. Me and poor Leah painting every surface in the heat. Or the bathroom door that wouldn’t close, that gross, strange shower; the possessed fridge! Even all that and I think of me and Abbey in our little shack, and Sneaky the stray, all the windows and short walk to school.

I guess we all want to get back.

---------

But before we were dreaming, I was trying to fall asleep and my mind wanders. Rigby was already on the bed and we were waiting on Abbey. David can fall asleep instantly… my attempt to keep him awake till I get sleepy. :D

A-If one of our cats had a secret lair in the basement which would it be?
D- Abbey, I guess.
A-If one of our cats was a secret spy which would it be?
D-Abbey.A-I think Rigby, the adorable baby is just an act.
D-Like a Kaiser Soze?
A-Yeah! He probably goes to his secret room and wears a bowtie and drinks Cattinis- shaken, not stirred, and drives a tiny, gray sports car.
D-Maybe.
A-Is Abbey Rigby’s Q?
D-No, she is M.
A-What is Rigby’s James Bond name?
D-(some theoretical discussion on whether James Bond is the given name for the 007 position)
A-Who is the villain?
D-DunnoA-Maverick?
D-I guessA-What would Maverick’s villain name be?
D-(some long explination, he doesn’t remember this morning, about his favorite bond villain)A-Ok, Mav Blofeld.
D-Well if Abbey has a basement she is Q, if she has a penthouse apartment she is M.A-Which one is Moneypenny?
D-The secretary.

le tired- it pours

The last several months have been an overload, the good, the bad, the hot, the heartbreaking, the joyful, the peaceful, the whirlwind, the sweet and cuddly, the cold and painful, blurry and sleepy.

I guess the summers filled with Family Feud, sleeping till 1, vacations to Grammy’s are long gone. Summer… gulp… is business as usual. Sadly. Am I a grown up? We have been so busy.

:: MeeMaw bought a new pair of pants this week. I love this. When my heart gets heavy at the thought of the future, she reminds me that life goes on.

:: I used to be able to say I am a fairly healthy person. These last few months have shaken me to realize that I might not be as healthy as I thought nor want to be. Sometimes you just have to accept the path you are on even if you never saw it coming. And yes, another MRI. I just can’t stay out of those things.
:: If you have been caged for many many years, when you are freed will you know to fly out the open door? I am getting ready to take my first flight out of darkness into the blinding light. And this will go down in history that sometimes you CAN win, sometimes they will tell you no, tell you it is impossible, but you can never stop fighting. Someone will hear you, someone will stand up for you, this time I did win the war.

“When nothing is sure, everything is possible.”
- Margaret Drabble

And now after an abstruse post...

A photo essay of the previous weeks.