I remember being all alone in an apartment in Washington, David was TAD on the Ragan, knew no one, my kitty was in Houston and I was searching for some way to feel connected to the world.
In my very first post, I talked about having this new life and being excited about the future- I can hear how young I sounded. I don’t think I can say that it was everything I thought it would be, life just isn’t that way is it?
Since the unedited and unfocused P.O. Times I have wondered, what is this blog? What is it for? Who is out there that reads this thing? What level of truth and openness is required?
I don’t have a perfect life to share and post pictures of. I’m hopelessly flawed as a woman, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a child of God. I struggle with comparing myself with others, I want to be good and hold myself to an impossible standard. This is going to be shocking (not) but I am a private person. I hide who I am so people will like me, I hide who I am to protect wounds, I hide who I am because I have secrets.
It is scary to me that God knows who I am, he knows me beyond the blog. He has seen the ugly, the mean, the evil, the careless- all the stuff I try to hide. But for some reason He still loves me and His eyes see me for the good, as the forgiven. As frequently as my life changes, God’s love is renewed. It is constant. Five years of blogging, five years of ups, downs, moves, and change. God is the constant.
Whatever this blog is or represents I have enjoyed the excuse to share my life. (and wish I still had time for the videos... loved those)
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23
6 comments:
Analee,
What a milestone-- 5 years. yes, life isn't always quite what we think it will be-- sometimes worse, but then too, sometimes better.
Thank you for you beautiful honesty. What a blessing and encouragement your words are.
I just hear God saying after reading this latest blog,
" Atta girl, Analee, way to go!" It is so neat when in our lives, we catch a glimpse of how MUCH and UNCONDITIONALLY HE LOVES US.
luv,
tia Kay
I read and enjoy your blog. I think our blogs have helped us to know each other better than we would have otherwise.
Everything your tia Kay said x2.
When I was had a similar lament, a friend told me "No. not hopelessly flawed... hopefully flawed."
Hopefully flawed...I like that!
I love your blog and have enjoyed it through the last few years. :-) Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your heart. We are all looking for others we can relate to. Please keep writing...much love.
Melanie :-)
I check virtually every day to see if you have written - keep writing - love it. Bobbie
ahhhh, your words made my eyes get watery. I enjoy reading your blog a lot, my friend, and not just because of your great writing style (though it IS great!).
blessings & kitty cuddles, comrade.
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