pool of lovely, pale colors

i woke up recently tangled in sheets missing a pillow the room lay in a weird green light seeping in through the tops of the curtains i couldnt recognize myself or this room or my crooked teeth inside my mouth, have you ever thought about how weird it is to be you and how strange it would be to be someone else looking at you that isn't you anymore? but everyday despite momentary panic i wash this strangers body in the shower put on a strangers clothes and step into an office. i pretend i am a lot of things, impress the brokers with fake knowledge and befriend the young kids with my feigned youth, speak obligatory robot to corporate muckity mucks. i also squeeze my eyes tight and see pale strobing lights but never any shapes and certainly not any neverlands.

when i start to write raise a finger at a blinking cursor the only words formed are a confession i am not myself today i am not any person today