How strange

How strange it is to be anything at all. —Alice


It is silliness to try and plot the points of your life.  Paths wind and bend and turn back onto themselves.

The last few months have been strange.
I quit my new job
David quit his job
David got a new job
I'm unemployed... by choice, sort of

I quit my job because it just wasn't a good fit, which sounds like an interview answer but is the truth. I could have stayed and been miserable for probably a year and kept a responsible looking resume but really what is the point of that?

During the week I was contemplating quitting David had a networking meeting, liked the guy and stumbled into an interview. I quit and a day later David accepted a new job. We were quiet and just listened and felt like this is where we were being guided.

So, what's been going on since February?
Well when you wait your whole life for something and you get it and it isn't what you wanted and you are so so tired and don't have healthcare and don't know how you will pay for car repairs and sit alone in the house where thoughts aren't drowned out my coworkers and work calls...

Things, feelings, crept up on me I wasn't expecting. I slipped. Found myself dealing, again, with depression and anxiety leading me to an unhealthy place.

Right now the best thing for me is to take care of myself and figure out what I want and practicing a little (LOT) of self-care. So I'm not working. And not listening to my inner voice telling me I am lazy, meditating to the idea of freedom - flying in a light blue sky, the kind with wispy brushed clouds - practicing yoga, slowly pealing back some protective layers and trying to remember what Analee used to want and like and laugh about.


It is a wonder how anything happens. Big things and small things are all equal parts random and fate.