June is fast approaching and my 14 before 14 - that I thought would be pretty easy - is embarrassing. I've done one thing, get rid of the skinny clothes. That was easy, I took 6-8 garbage bags full of clothes and a tub full of shoes, purses, belts, hats to charity.
But that is it.
I'm very sad that we will not be going to Montana. I've cried a lot about it, I'm almost starting to cry again just thinking about it. I really wanted to go and stupidly thought that if I made a public commitment then nothing could stop it. But the future knows better about itself than I do.
There is still some time left in the year for me to finish some of The 14. Although, #6,#11,#13  are pretty much off my list for good. Number 7, #9 , #1 and #3 are unlikely as well.
I wanted to not feel trapped and stuck anymore, I wanted to be like my peers that travel, and have fulfilling lives, that don't live in fear or feel smothered with responsibilities and obligations, those people that don't censor their every move because of _____, people who live THEIR lives and not the lives everyone else tells them to live. I think I wanted it too much.
I think this is the last time I make a list like this. It is far to embarrassing to admit that I failed. And incredibly depressing how little I can accomplish when I put my mind to it.
There is the update.
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