Homecomings

I've experienced two official Homecomings and then so many smaller informal homecomings I can't even count.

I consider myself a veteran.
Spouses and military families sacrifice so much to support their service member. The years of service are hard, and Dp and I continue to struggle with transitioning to civilian life.

The military, no matter what level of action is seen, changes you. Training in the Navy focuses on mental strength, the ability to stay focused while on a boat for months at a time. Also, the majority of work that goes on during deployment is Top Secret or higher. I know nothing about what Dp did on his last deployment.

As a spouse, I was told by Dp's commanding officers to never talk to him about real life, only email him about positive things and never reveal any struggles from back home. This was to keep him focused. This also requires a level of independence and strength from spouses/families, and hardened me as well. I couldn't let myself miss him, if you let yourself think that it will be nine or more months before you see, smell, touch and speak with your best friend...that will tear a person apart. So I learned to shut off all those loving feelings and focus on my job, keeping him focused and healthy and doing his job. When your entire relationship is built on discipline and withholding feelings, and information, it is extremely difficult to re-learn normal. 

Our time in the military was "easy" compared to most.

This memorial day, remember the fallen. And remember the deeper and long lasting sacrifices of the military and their families. Because even after a celebratory Homecoming, some men/women can never come home, not all the way.

Thankfully, I had many Homecomings.