sleep in peace...

For many years now I have been praying for our involvement with Iraq/Afghanistan to be over.

I can relive the first day of the war. I was cutting through the student center and people were crowding around the tvs. It seemed odd but I kept walking and outside heard jets from near by Dyess. My heart literally dropped. I knew right then we were at war. I ran, like seriously, to my dorm. (This was back when David was still a newbie in the Navy and I worried about him being safe. You kinda get over that after the first cruise.)

I was overwhelmed and devastated.

David and I had planned to be lifers. I was in it for the long haul. We thought that is what we wanted. But the increase in troops 'required' (he would be voluntold) David to do a ground tour in Iraq or Afghanistan. That was just out of the question. So we planned our exit out of the military life.

It has been a huge adjustment, a huge leap of faith. We gave up a lot of money, like a lot by any one's standards. We did a total 180 on our life plans. And it is taking patience, and perseverance to find our new place; how we fit into the civilian world.

How do you go from 2 fifteen minute calls in 8 months to seeing each other everyday? What is home and family when normal is 2 weeks together, 2 months apart? I am not married to an email address anymore. There is this living, breathing, (quite large) human being here all the time.

All that to say, seeing the reports that troops have pulled out of Iraq yesterday really made me think. Basically I couldn't watch it. I, for a second... ok the whole day, regretted getting out. Our whole reason for getting out was to save David from having to go over there like that. We have had to redefine our entire relationship. The Navy was hard. I never saw David. That is what I kept telling myself as I was thinking... "you could have stayed." Silly me. David would have gone, would have come back different, would have been in danger, would have been gone for another year of our lives.

Some part of me wishes we could have stayed the course we set out on.

Needless to say David and I are living a far from normal life. We have done and been and seen and are not on the road everyone else is. Maybe I just long to have a life like the people I know, the blogs I read.

Although, each path in this life is different. And I am guessing it is not a winding road, and definitely not straight. It is full of sharp turns, unexpected rises and steep declines.

I am overwhelmingly happy that this "war" is finally over. And can not imagine the joy of the military families as they can sleep in peace.