un-Happy New Year

Yes. I dislike the celebration, purpose and general mention of the "New Year."

I know what you are thinking... wait, wasn't your last post all about New Year Resolutions? Ok. Yes it was. I get this makes no sense whatsoever. But I really do dislike it, despite what I say before the holiday. What makes it a holiday again? It is pretty lucky that I like black eyed peas, cause sheesh what horrible holiday food too...

So probably every year I feel this way just after Christmas. In one of the blogs I stalk, my victim of voyeurism, stated she was always depressed after Christmas. Is that what ails me? The return of halls un-decked, chestnuts sitting un-roasted, a lack of presents sitting under a tree (oh a tree), and the bleak knowledge that after MLK Day we must endure a long torturous hall till Memorial Day? Well... yes. (who wouldn't be right?)

However, I still think there is more to my disheartening around Jan 1. One is the loneliest number. It feels like the end of the old year and wow- looking forward is overwhelming, and frankly looking back is overwhelming too. Wouldn't it be nice to experience life without self awareness? I don't think I am think kind of person to stop analyzing, not to mention I think God calls us to challenge ourselves to be better people, better Christians. And pile on top of all that pressure, and realization that another whole year is gone already, your own "resolutions!" Aren't you feeling a little more grumpy?

I intended, with my little New Year's Exercise, to really focus on the positive and focus on the things that made me happy last year, but still keeping in mind the disappointments. It is only Jan 5 and I am thinking mostly about the disappointments- "no really," I tell myself, "AM, this year is going to be different."
Is it?
Sigh. Considering that my one thought getting me through today is visions of a chocolate binge tonight in bed with some kitties... I am guessing no.

So I say to this silly, guilt ridden holiday- BAH HUMBUG!