2012 - unbalanced

if balance is the goal in life
2012 was unbalanced - we were focused on survival and it left very little brain space for living a well rounded life. But we made it through a tough year. Maybe 2012 should be known as the year of resilience



1- accomplishments big and small
*maybe I didn't DO a lot this year, but I have to acknowledge that I carried my little family forward through financial uncertainty, unemployment, and all around struggles. I know that I can take care of my family no matter what, and that is slightly empowering.

2-  pleasure
* #1 happy thoughts are my baby bears, love my shmushies. Love spooning with Rigby, baths with Abbey, and fishy/bunny/mousie presents by the bed every morning.
* Wheels - so happy she has gained weight and loves to sleep on our porch
* Pedicures with Mommy
* Talking shop with Daddy
* Opportunity for DP
* Rain!
* Twin Time
* Sister time
* Recently I noticed I have stopped calling Michael my brother in law. He is my brother. He married me (like officiated... he didn't marry marry me... ewww), gave me two nephews AND a niece, we get each other's humor, he gave MeeMaw the most beautiful memorial, and gets along with David. I'm so lucky to have such a great BIL.
* Fire pit
* Camping
* Mam's
* Niece! can't wait for her to get here

3- hurts
* financial struggles
* feeling off course and confused
* feeling isolated
* feeling unable to provide for my family

4 - forgiveness
Somehow I always ask forgiveness for the same thing - not being more for people. I want to be there for my friends and my family. However, I am also realizing I am too hard on myself. All my friends and family cut me slack, but I need to cut ME some slack and wriggle free of my web of "shoulds" that is, at times, paralyzing.

5 - thankful
This has been a difficult year in which to feel thankful. When you don't have enough, and can't see answers to prayers or peace in the storm. 2012 has taught me that you can survive with less, that there is good in everyday, and gratitude is a skill. I've had to work at finding my grateful heart, but as I have focused on the everyday good things more and more good has come to me.

6- Last thoughts about 2012
Not sure if the year was truly that difficult or if it was two difficult years in a row that made 2012 feel exhausting. Which ever, I am very happy it is over and actually excited about 2013. So many good things on the horizon!

Even with the inevitable dissapointments ahead, I am determined to grow, stay grateful, and be honest about what makes me happy and just do it. Going on adventure to find myself.



Looking back: 2009   2010   2011